366
PARTISAN REVIEW
"Don't touch me," Cade said. "I don't want none of that
brother
love. Keep your distance."
"You behave," Jesse said, struggling with his emotion.
"Ever since you give up women and drinking you been picking
on me," Cade said. "I do the best I can."
Cade waited for Jesse to say something.
"And you think picking on me all the time makes you get a
star in heaven, I suppose," Cade said weakly.
Jesse, who was not listening, walked the length of the cramped
little room. Because of the heat of the night and the heat of the
discussion, he took off his shirt. On his chest was tattooed a crouched
black panther, and on his right arm above
his
elbow a large un–
folding flower.
"I did want to do right by you but maybe we
had
better part,"
J esse said, crossing his arms across his chest. He spoke like a man
in his sleep, but immediately he had spoken, a scared look passed
over his face.
Cade suddenly went white. He moved over to the window.
"I can't do no more for you!" Jesse cried, alarmed but help–
less at his own emotion. "It ain't in me to do no more for you! Can't
you see that, Cade. Only so much, no more!"
When there was no answer from Cade, Jesse said, "Do you hear
what I say?"
Cade did not speak.
"Fact is," Jesse began again, as though explaining now to him–
self, "I don't seem to care about nothing. I just want somehow to
sit and not move or do nothing. I don't know what it is."
"You never did give a straw if I lived or died, Jesse," Cade said,
and he just managed to control his angry tears.
Jesse was silent, as on the evenings when alone in the dark, while
Cade was out looking for a job, he had tried to figure out what he
should do in his trouble.
"Fact
is," Cade now whirled from the window, his eyes brim–
ming with tears, "it's all the other way around. I don't need you ex–
cept for money, but you need me
to tell
you
who
you
are!"
"What?" Jesse said, thunderstruck.
"You know goddam well
what,"
Cade said, and he wiped the
tears off his face with his fist. "On account of you don't know who
you are, that's why."
