CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY
189
And so it was Franz who warned us
in
good time, who refused
above
all
to have anything to do with certain celebrations, calling
the whole thing a folly and a disgrace, and later on declined to par–
ticipate in those measures that proved necessary for the continuance
of what he considered evil. But, as I have said, he had too little
standing to get a hearing
in
the family circle.
Now, to be sure, things have gone so far that we stand helpless,
not knowing how to call a halt.
Franz has long since become a famous boxer, but today he
rejects the praises that the family lavishes on him with the same in–
difference he once showed toward their criticism.
~His
brother, however-my Cousin Johannes, a man for whom
I would at any time have walked through fire, the successful lawyer
and favorite son of my Uncle-Johannes is said to have struck up
relations with the Communist Party, a rumor I stubbornly refuse to
believe. My Cousin Lucie, hitherto a normal woman, is said to fre–
quent disreputable nightclubs, accompanied by her helpless husband,
and to engage in dances that I can only describe as existential. Even
Uncle Franz, that good, kind man, is reported to have remarked
that he is weary of life, he whom the whole family considered a
paragon of vitality and the very model of what we were taught to
call a Christian businessman.
Doctors' bills are piling up, psychiatrists and analysts are being
called in. Only my Aunt Milla, who must be considered the cause
of it all, enjoys the best of health, smiling, well and cheerful,as she
has been almost all her life. Her liveliness and cheerfulness are slowly
beginning to get on our nerves after our very serious concern about
the state of her health. For there was a crisis in her life that
threatened to be serious. It is just this that I must explain.
II
In retrospect it is easy enough to determine the source of
a disquieting series of events, but only now, when I regard the matter
dispassionately, do the things that have been taking place in our
family for almost two years appear out of the ordinary.
We might have surmised earlier that something was not quite
right. Something
in
fact was not, and if things ever were quite right-
