THE JESUIT'S TALE
451
hold my fist tight, I would not have minded if I had lost my sight.
You would perhaps now have a different story if God had indeed in
His mercy struck me blind. For a blind man sees no distractions; with
only his inner light to guide his steps, it is easier for
him
to pursue
the right path. Darkness is no doubt suffocating and threatens with
unseen danger, but illusory light can be disastrous; you will see how
I was confounded by the lamp brought in by the Communist.
"As
I have said, I was not bothered about the new interrogator.
It was his lamp that roused me and made me see. I began to see how
dark it had become. So night had fallen, the long day had passed,
and happily I still had my sight unimpaired. I cannot remember if I
heaved a sigh of relief. But before I had had time to congratulate
myself upon the wonderful recovery of the lucidity of my mind, I
was appalled by the phantasmagoric world which the flickering light
of the lamp was now revealing to me. It was the first time I had
ever looked round to see where I was. My attention had been too
much engrossed in the progress of the battle itself to take much notice
of the battleground the enemy had chosen. But the terrain was defin–
itely against me, it would eventually spell my ruin. The court,
if
you can call that place a court, was held in a section of the main
hall of the Jade Emperor's Temple, but the Communists, probably
in a hurry to convert the temple into their local headquarters, had
not removed the old idols. So now the attendants of the Jade Em–
peror were rising up out of the darkness in
all
their ugliness, the
first one glowering, the next one sneering, some baring their sharp
teeth, some raising a sword or a mace, and a red-visaged demon was
pointing his very, very long finger at my face. Above these terrible
images, I could see the huge portraits of the Communist leaders,
whose chubby smiling faces looked now as benign as those of angels
in Heaven. The Communist slogans, fresh and scarlet, were staring
at me from the wall and at once my ears were filled with the cries,
'Exterminate the landlords,' and 'Get rid of the imperialists.' The
place, which had been lost to me in my confusion and excitement
even before the gathering of the dusk, looked vast and unfathomable
in its dimness, floating with shadows and illuminated by a lamp that
heightened rather than dispelled the mystery. I was so fascinated by
the sights around me that for a moment I almost forgot about the
interrogation. My eyes were opened now, but opened only to a world
