LE NZ
35
now smiling, his lively manner when telling his story! He grew rest–
ful; it seemed to him as though familiar figures, forgotten faces
stepped again from the darkness, old songs awoke, he was away, far
away.
At last it was time to go. He was escorted across the street, the
vicarage was too small, he was given a room
in
the schoolhouse. He
went upstairs.
It
was cold up there, a large room, empty, a high bed–
stead in the background. He put down the light on the table and
walked about. He recalled what day it was, how he had come, where
he was. The room in the vicarage with its lights, its dear faces; it was
like a shadow to him, a dream, and he felt the emptiness again, as he
had felt it on the mountain; but now he could not fill it in with
anything, the light had gone out, darkness swallowed everything. An
unspeakable terror possessed him. He leaped to his feet, ran out of
the room, down the stairs, out of the house; but in vain, all was
dark, a nothing-even to himself he was a dream. Single, isolated
thoughts flickered up, he held them fast; he felt constrained to say
"Our Father" again and again. He could no longer find himself.
An obscure instance urged him to save himself; he ran into stones,
tore himself with his nails. The pain began to recall him to con–
sciousness; he hurled himself into the fountain but the water was
not deep, he splashed about.
Then people came; they had heard him, they called out to him.
Oberlin came running out. Lenz had come to his senses, the full con–
sciousness of his situation returned to him, he felt more at ease. Now
he was ashamed of himself and regretted that he had frightened the
good people; he told them it was
his
habit to take a cold bath, and
went back to his room. At last exhaustion gave him rest.
The next day all went well. With Oberlin through the valley
on horseback; vast mountain slopes contracting from great heights
into a narrow winding valley that extended high up into the moun–
tains in many directions; large masses of rock, which grew wider
at the base, very little wooded country, but all rising solemn and gray;
a view of the west, into the country and the mountain range that
runs from south to north with mighty peaks that stand grave or silently
motionless, like a dawning dream. Immense masses of light swelling
forth from the valleys at times like a river of gold, and again clouds
that hung beside the highest summits and then drifted slowly down
