THE WORLD IN PANTAGRUEL'S MOUTH
693
when Pantagruel yawned, the pigeons went into his mouth in whole flocks, think–
ing that it had been a pigeon-house.
Then I went into the city, which I found fair, very strong, and seated in a
good air; but at my entry the guard demanded of me my pass or ticket. Whereat I
was much astonished, and asked them, My masters, is there any danger of the
plague here? 0 Lord, said they, they die hard by here so fast, that the cart runs
about the streets. Good God, said I, and where? Whereunto they answered, that it
was in Larynx and Pharynx, which are two great cities, such as Rouen and
Nantes, rich and of great trading. And the cause of the plague was by a stink–
ing and infectious exhalation, which lately vapoured out of the depths of the
wells, whereof there have died above two and twenty hundred and threescore
thousand and sixteen persons within this seven-night. Then I considered, cal–
culated, and found, that it was an unsavoury breathing, which came out of
Pantagruel's stomach, when he did eat so much garlic, as we have aforesaid.
Parting from thence, I passed amongst the rocks, which were his teeth, and
never left walking, till I got up on one of them; and there I found the pleasantest
places in the world, great large tennis-courts, fair galleries, sweet meadows,
store of vines, and an infinite number of banqueting summer outhouses in the
fields, after the Italian fashion, full of pleasure and delight, where I stayed full
four months, and never made better cheer in my life as then. After that I went
down by the hinder teeth to come to the chaps. But in the way I was robbed by
thieves in a great forest, that is in the territory towards the ears. Then, going on
downward, I fell upon a pretty petty village-truly I have forgot the name of it
-where I was yet merrier than ever, and got some certain money to live by.
Can you tell how? By sleeping. For there they hire men by the day to sleep, and
they get by it fivepence or sixpence a day, but they that can snore hard get at
least ninepence. How I had been robbed in the valley, I informed the senators,
who told me, that, in very truth, the people of that side were bad livers, and
naturally thievish, whereby I perceived well, that as we have with us countries
be-hither and beyond the mountains, so have they there countries be-hither and
beyond the teeth. But it is far better living on this side, and the air is purer. There
I began to think, that it is very true, which is commonly said, that one half of
the world knoweth not how the other half liveth; seeing none before myself
had ever written of that country, wherein are above five and twenty kingdoms in–
habited, besides deserts, and a great arm of the sea. Concerning which, I have
composed a great book intituled
The History of the Gorgians,
for so I have
named them because they dwell in the gorge of my master Pantagruel.
At last I was willing to return, and, passing by his beard, I cast myself
upon his shoulders, and from thence slid down to the ground, and fell before him.
As soon as I was perceived by him, he asked me, Whence comest thou,
Alcofrybas? I answered him, Out of your mouth, my lord! And how long hast
thou been there? said he. Since the time, said I, that you went against the
Almyrodes. That is more than six months ago, said he. And wherewith didst thou
live? What didst thou drink? I answered, My lord, of the same that you did, and
of the daintiest morsels that passed through your throat I took toll. Yea, but, said
he, where didst thou shite?
In
your throat, my lord, said
I.
Ha, ha, thou art a
merry fellow, said he. We have with the help of God conquered all the land of
the Dipsodes; I will give thee the Lairdship of Salmigondin. Grammercy, my
lord, said I, you gratify me beyond all that I have deserved of you. (Urquhart's
translation, revised.)
2
Panurge, having paid the merchant, chose out of all the flock a fine topping
ram; and as he was hauling it along, crying out and bleating, all the rest, hearing
and bleating in concert, stared to see whither their brother ram should be carried.
(Motteux's translation, revised.)
