212
PARTISAN REVIEW
that would not explain
his
persistence. And I had already excluded
the idea of his being a burglar, since
his
movements were so open
and mine so furtive, but any doubt about
this
was finally dispelled
when I saw him emerge from the lower entrance, which must have
been locked, and once more walk up the steps leading to the main
entrance. Clearly he wanted me.
If
his
purposes were unfriendly, it
would be more logical
to
conclude he was a kidnapper than a thief.
Again the door bell rang, more sharply than before. This time
I answered it. I am not sure why I did, for nothing had really
changed; but I suspect that I could not endure the disadvantage of
of my not knowing who the man was while he certainly knew who
I was--otherwise he would not be so eager to find me. By merely
pressing the ticker I reversed the situation to my advantage, since I
would now discover his identity whereas he already knew mine.
As
I opened my apartment door and waited for
his
mounting
tread
to reach my landing, I suddenly remembered that I was wearing
a bathrobe, which .was hardly the proper attire for coping with a
man so resolute and so worldly as
to
manage to see me when I was
obviously not at home. Besides, my wearing a bathrobe right in the
heart of the day, when everyone is supposed to be most wide-awake,
could only make
him
all the more suspicious of me, as though it
were not bad enough that I had already aroused his suspicions by
failing to answer the doorbell the first time. But it was too late to do
anything about it, and even
if
by some miracle I had been able to
change quickly into more conventional clothes for this time of day,
it would not have done any good, for by now my anxiety was so
great and was bound to arouse so much suspicion that I might just
as well have kept my bathrobe on.
There was nothing to do but try to brazen it out, perhaps to
indicate by my manner, subtly of course, that I was surprised to find
him
prowling around at
this
hour when he might just as well be
taking a siesta. Suddenly, however, while I was pondering my strategy,
I was faced by a hulk of a man, well over six feet tall and profession–
ally broad-shouldered, and whatever bravado I had been prepared
to show disappeared in the face of the discrepancy between his tow–
ering figure and, at least by comparison, my pathetic one.
"Yes?" I said in a tone that turned out to be more polite than
challenging.