PARTISAN REVIEW
and the woman's blood, but that is neither here nor there.
Then the woman came to Jesus Christ.
"So and so," she says, "Lord Jesus. 1 am the woman Arina from
the Hotel Madrid and Louvre, the one on Tverskaya Street. Working
at the hotel, it's like going around with your skirt up. Just let a man
stop there, and he's your lord and master, let
him
be a Jew, let him
be anybody at all. There
is
another slave of yours walking the earth,
the janitor's helper, Serega. Last year on Palm Sunday 1 bore him
twins.... "
And so she described it all to the Lord.
"And what if Serega were not to go into the army at all?" the
Saviour suggested.
"Try and get away with it-not with the policeman around.
He'll drag
him
off as sure as daylight.... "
"Oh yes, the policeman," the Lord bowed his head, "I never
thought of him.... Then perhaps you ought to live in purity for
a while? ...."
"For four years?" the woman cried. "To hear you talk, all people
should deny their animal nature. That's just your old ways all over
again. And where will the increase come from? No, you'd better
give me some sensible advice...' "
The Lord's cheeks turned scarlet, the woman's words had touched
a tender spot. But he said nothing. You cannot kiss your own ear–
even God knows that.
"I'll tell you what, God's servant, glorious sinner, maiden Arina,"
the Lord proclaimed in all his glory, "I have a little angel here in
heaven, hanging around uselessly. His name is Alfred. Lately he's got–
ten out of hand altogether, keeps crying and nagging all the time:
'What have you done to me, Lord, why did you turn me into an
angel in my twentieth year, and me a hale young fellow?' So I'll
give you Alfred the angel as a husband for four years. He'll be your
prayer, he'll be your protection, and he'll be your solace. And as for
offspring, you've nothing to worry about- you can't bear a duckling
from him, let alone a baby, for there's a lot of fun in him, but no
senousness. . . . "
"That's just what 1 need," the maid Arina wept gratefully.
"Their seriousness takes me to the doorstep of the grave three times
every two years.
"
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