THESEUS
dark cloth; this swathed the top of his thighs, and was held in place
by a curious and prominent knot. His white leather boots caught my
eye, and seemed to suggest that he was making ready to go out; but
his mind alone was on the move. Himself seemed not
to
see us. Pro–
ceeding no doubt with some unbroken chain of argument, he was
saying:
"Who came first: man or woman? Can the Eternal One be female?
From the womb of what great Mother have you come, all you myriad
species? And by what engendering cause can that womb have been
made great? Duality is inadmissible. In that case, God himself would be
the son. My mind refuses to divide God.
If
once I allow division, strife
begins: Where there are gods, there are wars. There are not gods, but
a God. The kingdom of God is peace. All is absorbed, all is reconciled
in the Unique Being."
He was silent for a moment and then went on:
"If
man is to give a form to the gods, he must localize and reduce.
God spreads where he will. The gods are divided. His extension is im–
mense: theirs, merely local."
He was silent again, before going on in a voice panting with
anguish:
"But what is the reason for all this, 0 God who art lucidity itself?
For so much trouble, so many struggles? And towards what? What is
our purpose here? Why do we seek reasons for everything? Where are
we to turn, if not towards God? How are we to direct our steps? Where
are we to stop? When can we say: so be it; nothing more to be done?
How can we reach God, after starting from man? And
if
I start from
God, how can I reach across to myself? Yet,
if
man is the creation of
God, is not God the creation of man? It is at the exact crossing place of
those roads, at the very heart of that cross, that my mind would
fix
itself."
'
1
1
1
As he spoke, the veins swelled out on his forehead and the sweat
ran down his temples. At least, so it seemed to me, for I could not see
him clearly in the half-light; but I heard him gasping, like a man
putting forth an immense effort.
He was quiet for a moment, then went on.
"I don't know where God begins, and still less where he ends. I
shall even express myself more exactly
if
I say that his beginning never
ends. Ah! How sick I am of 'therefore,' and 'since,' and 'because'!
Sick of inference, sick of deduction. I never learn anything, from the
finest of syllogisms, that I haven't first put into it myself.
If
I put God
in at the beginning, he comes out at the end. I don't find him unless
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