THE TEETH
stolidly avoided her eye; only Hilda listened without reserve, leaning,
leaning toward commitment out of her wariness.
"But he was a comedian, that boy. Finally, he turned toward
me, unable to escape, too weak to strike me down, and reaching into
a greasy pocket, took out a nickel. 'Here, bub,' he said, "you need this
more than me.' "
"And what did you do?" Hilda asked, watching his eyes, avoid–
ing tenderly the grotesque appeal of his teeth.
"I am a philosopher," Warren said, his story obviously over.
"I took it."
"Why," said Hilda, slowly, "you've been lying-that's a lie-"
Warren smiled modestly, nodding her on. "-a joke-a parable-"
"A myth," Warren whispered to himself. It was scarcely audible,
but Hilda, her attention unwavering, picked it up.
"A myth," she said, "and the meaning I know. I
know,
but to
say it, I can't say it."
"Is it absolutely necessary, Rose, to spill
all
the drinks before
we get them?" Bea rose to take the tray, and Hilda disconcertecL by
the diversion, glanced at her in contempt, but briefly, as if unwilling
to leave for more than a moment her scanning of Warren's face .
"For every beggar, there is a more absolute beggar," he sug–
gested. "The Chinese have a saying: below below there is below. And
for every indignity there is that beside which it is dignity. Only chosen
deformity, deformity
willed,
what is called stupidly 'false,' is ultimate."
He spoke with no intention of being understood, mumbling and look–
ing out the window at the first stars, but he could not discourage the
vast uncomprehending attention of Hilda. She paused to show respect
for what he had said, and turned to her own concern.
"Your article-it was not only the beauty of the sentences, the
words. But we knew when we read it, that you
understood.
The spirit
trapped in gross flesh," she indicated her own lumpy body with a
despairing wave of the hand, "the
suffering;
and for the heart there
is only this obscene apparatus, no instrument, no way of saying what
it must, of being what it
is.
No way except, perhaps-love." Her voice
had grown lower, less sure with each phrase, and the last word was
lost completely.
"Except perhaps-what?" he cried impatiently. "Talk up!"
57
