THE INTERIOR CASTLE
527
and came nearer to the bed.
Watching him, Pansy could already feel the prongs of his pliers
opening her nostrils for the insertion of
his
fine probers. The pain
he caused her with his instruments was of a different kind from
that she felt unaided: it was a naked, clean, and vivid pain which
made her faint and
ill
and made her wish to die. Once she had
fainted as he ruthlessly explored and after she was brought around,
he continued until he had finished his investigation. The memory of
this outrage had afterward several times made her cry.
This morning she looked at him and listened to him with hatred.
Fi.xing her eyes upon the middle of
his
high, protuberant brow, she
imagined the clutter behind it and she despised its obtuse imperfec–
tion, the reason's oblique comprehension of itself. In his bland un–
awareness, this nobody, this nose-bigot, was about to play with fire
and she wished him
ill.
He said, "I can't blame you. No, I expect you're not looking
forward to our little party. But I expect you'll be glad to be able to
breathe again."
He stationed his lieutenants. The interne stood opposite him on
the left side of the bed. The surgical nurse wheeled the wagon within
easy reach of his hands and stood beside it. Another nurse stood at
the foot of the bed. A third drew the shades at the windows and
attached the blinding light which shone down on the patient hotly,
and then she left the room, softly closing the door. Pansy stared at
the silver ribbon tied in a great bow round the green crepe paper
of one of the flower pots. It made her realize for the first time that
one of the days she had lain here had been Christmas, but she had
no time to consider this strange and thrilling fact, for Dr. Nicholas
was genially explaining his anaesthetic. He would soak packs of gauze
in the purple fluid, a cocaine solution, and he would place them then
in her nostrils, leaving them there for an hour. He warned her that
the packing would be disagreeable (he did not say "painful") but
that it would be well worth a few minutes of discomfort not to be
in the least sick after the operation. He asked her if she were ready
and when she nodded her head, he adjusted the mirror on his forehead
and began.
At the first touch of his speculum, Pansy's fingers mechanically
bent to the palms of her hands and she stiffened. He said, "A pack,
Miss Kennedy," and Pansy closed her eyes. There was a rush of
plunging pain as he drove the sodden gobbet of gauze high up into her
nose and something bitter burned in her throat so that she retched.
