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PARTISAN REVIEW
between six boards of pinewood nailed together? In our glorious age,
all you have to do to be called an anarchist is to ask the State as
timidly as you please: Will you kindly step off my chest so I can
breathe!
"You must never do that, my friend, if you are a law-abiding
citizen. Don't ever insult the State with such tactless requests. Remem–
ber: it's safer to have ten policemen in your bed than one lone burglar
ten miles away. The policemen protect you, but, of course, you must
pay for the protection. It's a service after all, and you at least feel
secure. . . . But even
if
the policemen should suddenly vanish, the
burglar would hardly feel tempted to visit you: he knows that there
would be nothing left for
him
to feed on. Now, honestly, isn't it much
better to invest all you have in protection than to be robbed by un–
known people who break into your house at night ready to do any–
thing
if
you should scream for help? With the policemen it's different.
There is no need to scream, as you know them all. And you're glad
to pay, because you're a patriot. And what have you lost? Privacy?
Privacy, hell! What is privacy, anyway? A selfish, unpatriotic con–
dition."
"You don't seem to believe in order at all," said Aristide, timor–
ously.
"How can you say that?" shouted Tiburzio so loudly that the
windows vibrated. Hi'l wife ran out of the room crying, "Santo Dio,
Santo Dio,"
a~
if she were summoning the maid.
"Do you think," yelled Tiburzio, clapping his hands to make
more noise, "do you think that I would be scared as
all
that if I didn't
believe in order? I don't believe in the Devil, but in Order I do. When
Order takes over, it must also take over the undisciplined activities of
such small artisans of theft as burglars and other dilettantes of the
same kind. It cannot eliminate them, it only fixes them in a system of
security."
"Why?"
''Why? Did you say WHY? Hear this fool ask why! Is that pos–
sible? Why, he says! Why! ... "
"We in America," began Aristide, speaking like a valedictorian
at commencement exercises and pausing significantly before and after
every word, "We in America believe
in
asking why at all times....
So I am asking why."
"All right," said Tiburzio, his hands dancing above
his
head like
creatures on their own, "then do ask why; but with more energy,
curse the cap of Pio Nono. Ask your questions, ask them, don't just
mumble why. You want to know why? Well, I'll tell you why. Be-
