430
PARTISAN REVIEW
into barricades. Even abandoned sewers for hiding arms. He traced
them through the City Hall records. At ,that time I didn't know how
crazy
it
was. But I'm willing to bet he still has that map. He's an
addict. They're all addicted people, l\'like. Hey, Burns! Hey!"
I
called out.
"Shut up, Joseph! for God's sake. What are you doing? Every·
body is looking at you."
Burns glanced briefly in my direction and then resumed his
conversation
with
the other man who, however, turned again to look
at
me.
"What do you know about that! I can't arouse him. He won't
give me a tumble. I'm just gone-fssst!" I snapped my fingers.
"I'm a contemptible petty-bourgeois renegade, and could anything be
worse. That idiot! Hey, addict!" I shouted.
"Have you gone mad? Come on." Myron pushed back the
table. "rm going to get you out of here before you start a
fi~ht.
Where's your coat, which is it?
Why,
you're a madman, come back
here!'' But I was already out of hi<> reach. I halted squarely before
Burns.
"I sa·id hello to you before, didn't you notice?"
He made no reply.
"Don't you know me? It seems to me I know you very well
Answer me, don't you know who I am?"
"Yes, I know you," replied Burns in a low voice.
"That's what I wanted to hear," I said. "I just wanted to be
!:lure. ['m coming Myron." I pulled my arm awa y from him and
we strode out.
I was aware that this had made a bad
~pression
on Myron but
cared to do little to rectify it beyond saying briefly that I was not
myself lately.
Dec. 26
I seem to be unable to stay out of trouble. Disgraced myself at
m,y brother's house last night. I can take it lightly, but Iva feels it
very keenly.
My brother Amos, who is my senior by twelve years, is a wealthy
man. He began his career as a messenger on the Exchange and before
he was twenll:y-five had become a member of ,that body with a seat of
his own. The family is very proud of him and he, in turn, has been a
reliable son, verv much alive to his duties. ToWJard me he early took
a protective attitude but he soon gave up, confessing that he did not
know what I was after. He was hurt when I became a radical, relieved
when he assured himself I was one no longer. He was disappointed
when I married Iva. His own ·wife, Dolly, had a rich father. He had
