ELLEN TERHUNE
475
played it over and over.
It
was as if she did not know what to do
with it, and the listener was constantly subjected to the embarrass–
ment of fearing that the pianist had got stuck like a phonograph
that stutters. There was at moments a suggestion of a second theme
that seemed to play about the first in a flimsy and trivial manner,
but it would fade off in atmospheric chords and leave the field to
the original four notes, as boring and inexpressive as ever. It was
like a perverse child, compelled to practise on a summer day, and
deliberately annoying the household. At the end, the ghost of a
second theme limped off and dropped away in irremediable spe–
ciousness and impotence, and we were back with the same con–
founded phrase, which was never satisfactorily resolved, but simply
repeated eight times at precisely the same loudness and tempo.
It sounded a little insane; I felt more worried about Ellen
than before. I sat constrained, almost scared, when she stopped,
and did not know what to say. Of course it was rather remark–
able to have carried off this monotony musically-if she had done
so, of which I was not very sure; and this was the line that I took
with her. I saw that she was vibrating with tension, that the music
had excited her in a way which seemed.to be almost unbearable for
her and was rather embarrassing for me. She was perspiring in
the August heat, and I began to perspire, too. "I'm afraid you're
not well," I said.
I remembered with uneasiness that she had sometimes been
subject to a kind of epileptic seizure, which was preceded by ner–
vous headaches. I had seen her in one of these fits one evening
when I had taken her to a concert where a concerto of hers was to
be done and where Sigismund had to conduct. She had usually
played her own things; but she was not a very accomplished pianist,
and on this occasion Sigismund had believed that it would be bet–
ter to get a pianist who was accustomed to playing with orchestra.
This
performer had, however, not much liked the piece and had
been antagonized by Sigismund's vehemel}t coaching, and, in spite
of a house packed with friends and admirers, who gave it the ex–
pected ovation, Ellen knew that it had not been right. I do not
think, as a matter of fact, that it was one of her good pieces, and I
imagine that the dutiful applause made her feel worse about it.
(Continued on page
507)
