386
PARTISAN REVIEW
It was Roman. He stood there outside the window and smiled
at me out of the side of his mouth. There was just the window panes
between us.
I looked at him and it seemed like my very heart stopped
beating. He had on old overalls and an overall jacket and they
were soaking wet. A whiff of wind blew up the collar of his jacket.
I saw the drops of rain beat up against his face.
I stood there a long time before I could move. Then I
wrenched myself loose from him. It was the hardest thing I ever
did. I jumped back against the table and I jumped too far.
My
elbow knocked the chimney off the lamp and he went away.
I started in and rolled the bureau away from the door and put
it in front of the window. Then I slipped into the kitchen and slid
the cupboard into the other room and placed it in front of
the
kitchen door, where the bureau had been. I pushed my bed over in
the far corner from the fireplace and blew out the light. I kicked
off my shoes before I jumped into the bed, but I didn't take off my
clothes. I pulled the covers over my head and lay there. I didn't
see nor hear any more from Roman that night, but I didn't sleep
much.
I haven't slept much since then either, and I'm nervous all
the
time I'm awake. Every so often I see Roman. He used to come to
the kitchen window until I covered all the windows with old Guano
sacks. One night one of the sacks had fallen off and I didn't
know
it. When I sat down to supper I happened to look up and there
was
Roman standing at the window smiling at me. I had been hunting
that day and my gun was loaded ·and standing in the corner right
next to me. I grabbed it up and shot at him, hut just as I pulled
the trigger he went away. The shell was loaded with No.8 shot and
it shot the sash slam out. I haven't left the windows uncovered
since then, hut once in a while, especially just at dark, I will see
Roman grinning at me from around some bush or corner. I have
cussed him and told him to come on and fight it out with me, but
he just smiles off to one side and leaves when I rush at him. I can't
tell anybody about it, hut it has just about got me down.
The daytime is bad enough, but it is hell at night. When it
comes on night I get so fidgety that I can't he still. I have to keep
looking around me to see that there isn't anybody slipping up on
me from behind. Sometimes I don't sleep for three or four nights.
