ENGLISH NIGHTMARE
363
establishing fraternity. I couldn't be bothered. Others came. One
was a good-looking A.
R.
P. warden with a club foot. A doctor
appeared in his car, from the interior of which he brought out a
packet of sandwiches. He waved to us as he went in. My bladder
was aching. I wondered how long I should have to wait and whether
I ought to empty it and trust to it partly filling up again before I
went in.
A clerk came out and said:
"Three married men, pleas.e."
Three who were nearer to the door beat me to it.
Another clerk came out and said:
"All single men, please."
Those who looked married all went in. I remarked on this to
a man near me. He didn't see the joke.
Presently we all went in. The place was divided up by asbestos
screens. The clerk in the first compartment gave us forms to fill up
for our marriage and child allowances. A fat young man with wavy
hair and a moustache, who looked like a butcher and had been the
centre of fun and fraternity outside, couldn't understand the form.
We all peered over each other's forms to some extent.
A second clerk checked up our particulars and sent us into
little cubicles to undress to our coats and trousers. In the next cubi–
cle to me was a Roumanian. He said he came from Cernauti in
Bukovina, occupied a few days ago by Soviet troops. The A. R. P.
warden was running about stubbing the foot of his short leg against
screens and pieces of wood. The urine doctor fetched us to a room
at the far end and gave us jam-pots and lager glasses.
Half-way through, I said:
"I'm afraid this isn't going to hold it."
The urine doctor handed me a pail that I could switch over to.
The young butcher was looking sheepish.
He said:
"I can't go yet, sir."
The doctor said:
"Go outside and turn the tap on. That might help you."
The eye doctor wasn't interested in my reading glasses. He
only wanted to know how far I could see. I read three lines of
letters, and that satisfied him.
He looked at my form and said:
