SPEECHFROM A FORTHCOMING PLAY
by virtue of by virtue, I,
by hereby virtue of the hereby powers vested in hereby me,
do hereby declare and say that in the opinion of this court you are
completely guilty of any crime or crimes of which you are ab-
solutely innocent;
and in the name of this great hypocrisy,
which, as you hereby know, can do no wrong,
being a society based upon the equality of importunity, irrespective
of andsoforth andsoforth or andsoforth, with liberty and justice
for all,
I hereby affirm that to the best of my knowledge and belief you have
been conclusively proved,
in flagranti delicto, with full benefit of testimony,
to have committed a foul degenerate heinous and inhuman offense
against your innocent and unsuspecting fellowcitizens, not to
mention their lives their fortunes and their sacred andsoforth,
namely and to wit,
that hereby you were black in color at the time of your hereby birth.
In consideration of which, I,
by hereby virtue of andsoforth,
do hereby extend to hereby you, on behalf of the government of the
Benighted States of Hysterica, that glorious andsoforth alternative
which is the illustrious andsoforth prerogative of every andso-
forth citizen; and which is in accordance with the dictates of
justice and of mercy, as revealed to our forefathers in the Decla-
ration of Interdependence; and which, in the ultraenlightened
opinion of the supercivilized majority of the hyperhuman andso-
forth race, constitutes a glowing andsoforth nucleus andsotorth
of radiant andsoforth andsoforth:
e pluribus eunuch, or to make a long story brief,
I give you the choice of either being dead or of not being alive,
nolens volens, whichever you prefer.
And in the sacred name of commonsense, I,
by hereby virtue and by hereby andsoforth and by hereby what-
haveyou,
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