A CHILDHOOD MEMORY
Ignazio Silone
9
I
RETAIN
with surprising clarity many memories of the time when
I was barely three or four years old. But my earliest memory of all
is an isolated one, and even if it leaves my friends incredulous, I
have not the slightest doubt of its authenticity. It takes me back to
the distant day when I was weaned. I deduce from local custom in
force at the time that I must have been between eighteen months
and two years old. I must first explain that in the part of the world
from which I come a rather underhand though very ancient and
certainly very effective stratagem is resorted to cause a baby volun-
tarily to accept other food after the long period in which its sole
nourishment has been its mother's milk. When a mother believes the
time for weaning has come, without warning the child in any way,
she makes big black smudges on her breasts with charcoal or some
other colouring matter; and when the child wants to be fed she offers
it the breast as usual, as though the occasion were perfectly normal.
The child is astonished and horrified at the sight of the smudges, and
the way in which it reacts varies "according to its temperament."
Some children burSt out crying and wait for the smudges to disap-
pear; some think it over, shut their eyes and suck, in terror; some
try to suck, but the sight of the horrible smudges repelS them. The
final result, however, is always the same; the child abandons the
breast and accepts other nourishment. I distinctly remember that this
cruel trick succeded at once with me. I well remember that a friend
of my mother's was sitting with her that day. My mother was sad
and silent, as later she always was when she had to do things of
which she inwardly disapproved, but that were required of her by
tradition. Her friend, however, looked at me and laughed. I remem-
ber the mixture of terror and disgust with which I discovered the
mysterious marks on the maternal breasts. It was the first tragic
moment of my life. I had to part for ever from those two dear,
soft, round, intimate, dependable sweet things from which I had
hitherto extracted my nourishment in a marvellous and easy manner.
Three years later the same thing happened to my brother, this
