My personal favorites

  1. I used to have a soap addiction. Don't worry, I'm clean now.
  2. I was going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
  3. Never trust stairs. They're always up to something.
  4. I've heard a joke about a German sausage before. It was the wurst.
  5. Why is death valley failing school? Its grades are below sea level.

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