Jaimee Garbacik
Fission

Evading your penetration
Like dodging raindrops

I was open hands
Soaking in
Etching your life in my palm with fingertips-pressue
"Maybe you're the sun with them" I'd say

I wanted to walk away and not
See your tears
On my clothes
Whenever I spill something
I think of a splinter
That wedged itself into my brain
The day I met you

Dividing me against myself
You divided me
And you divided
You permeated fibers that my soul
Isn't even made of

Tension slowly knotted at the back of my neck
[The way gravel heaves] taking me with it

The occupation of those who catch
Amazement like mothballs
Between their fingers is
Guiding gently
But you built up to an explosion facade
Your fire diffused
My daydream-rich liquor
Into anathema
Revisiting all the people I'd been
Revamping and coaxing them into hiding
As the dying grew near
Tears fell all around me, it rained inside

Twisting my brain's mesh weave taut
Like a child with hands cupped to receive water
Stands at a precipice, toes pointed,
Lips pursed in concentration
[I was just looking to absorb
I wanted to be new]

Blonde 'angel' blinked
Only then could I inhale again
I found out I wasn't a secret
Straw black and I no longer care

Because you looked me in the eye
And missed me completely

I woke up my froen child
Breathed the resin of flight
No more waiting for the floodgates

Finally, you agreed to free me
Breaking glass sounds like waves
[Waves are a soothing subliminal womb reference]
And then, of course it poured torrents
I'm in awe of how this feels.

I think I'm that sun without you.

<< Back to Issue 6, 2004