\u201cBiological stress in infancy can lead to infant sleep deprivation, which is important because getting enough sleep is crucial to infants\u2019 brain development, mood, and health,\u201d says Tarullo, director of BU\u2019s Brain and Early Experiences Lab<\/a>.<\/p>\n But it\u2019s not like these tiny tots have mortgages to pay or bosses to please, so what\u2019s keeping them up at night? Their parents\u2019 stress could be to blame.<\/p>\n \u201cWe know that when parents are chronically biologically stressed,\u201d says Tarullo, an associate professor, \u201cit is more difficult to be emotionally present for children, and their children also have higher levels of biological stress.\u201d<\/p>\n Tarullo\u2019s research also looks at how other early experiences shape the developing brain and body. One recent study, led by doctoral student Ashley St. John (GRS\u201919,\u201919), uncovered a connection between socioeconomic status and performance in tasks requiring attention. \u201cPoverty shapes brain activity in early life,\u201d says Tarullo. \u201cThe study underscores the need for intervention in early childhood, in the years when the brain is rapidly developing, to set children up for success.\u201d<\/p>\n While parents might not be able to control all aspects of their kids\u2019 environment, Tarullo says giving themselves an occasional break could bring big benefits\u2014and more peaceful nights for everyone.<\/p>\n \u201cThere is nothing selfish or indulgent about self-care. It is absolutely essential for parents to take care of their own emotional well-being.\u201d<\/p>\n We\u2019ve all politely listened\u2014and privately rolled our eyes<\/strong>\u2014as parents boast that their infants are remarkable geniuses, how their little one can already follow a conversation or ace a guessing game. But research shows there might be something to those proud claims and that babies may be smarter than we think.<\/p>\n In the Developing Minds Lab<\/a>, Melissa M. Kibbe<\/a> studies how young children learn to process the world around them, from how they remember objects to whether they can predict other people\u2019s actions. In recent research papers, Kibbe has found that even before they can speak, babies are beginning to categorize objects (phones, toys, books) and show basic arithmetical capabilities.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m really interested in understanding the basic architecture of human cognition,\u201d says Kibbe, an assistant professor whose research is centered on children aged five months to seven years. \u201cInfants are primed from very early on to pay attention to things that are really important and that could actually help them learn.\u201d<\/p>\n She says a deeper understanding of how we accrue knowledge could help create better learning environments and lessons for children. For instance, our natural predisposition to counting, calculation, and other math skills could, she says, be \u201cleveraged to help kids learn formal math later on.\u201d<\/p>\n Until then, says Kibbe, new parents\u2014and their skeptical friends\u2014can keep one key message in mind: \u201cWe need to give kids more credit than we do from very early on; kids have the capacity to do and learn and understand more than we think they do. That really can change the way that we interact with them, the way that we expose kids to new ideas and new knowledge.\u201d<\/p>\n The best TED Talks, the ones that rack up millions of views,<\/strong> all have something in common, according to writer and consultant Vanessa Van Edwards, author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People<\/em><\/a>. The speakers move their hands a lot, which Van Edwards says makes it easier for the audience to absorb their message. It\u2019s a trick parents can use, too, says Helen Tager-Flusberg<\/a>, a professor and director of BU\u2019s Center for Autism Research Excellence<\/a>. She\u2019s found that the gestures parents use to accentuate their spoken words may help boost their toddler\u2019s language development and vocabulary.<\/p>\n Tager-Flusberg is particularly interested in how that plays out in children with an autism spectrum disorder. In a December 2020 study of infants at risk for the disorder, she found that one-year-olds with parents who gestured more had better vocabulary by age three than those with more static caregivers. A later research paper showed that\u2019s also true for infants who don\u2019t go on to develop autism. (Tager-Flusberg encourages parents who want to participate in future projects to get in touch<\/a>.) In both studies, parents were observed interacting with their children during short periods of free play.<\/p>\n Parents\u2019 early gestural communication to their infants, especially pointing and showing gestures, are important predictors of their children\u2019s later language. \u201cParents\u2019 early gestural communication to their infants, especially pointing and showing gestures, are important predictors of their children\u2019s later language,\u201d says Tager-Flusberg. \u201cFor parents of all children, with and without disabilities or risk for disabilities, when communicating with your infant or young child, your gestures and spoken language are especially important in guiding language development.\u201d<\/p>\n Why is the sky blue?<\/strong> Why aren\u2019t the dinosaurs still around? Why do people die? Why, why, why. It\u2019s an exhausting rite of passage as a parent: being peppered with questions\u2014many that push fading high school science knowledge to the limit. Although it can be tempting to brush off inquisitive kids, Deborah Kelemen<\/a> says the incessant interrogation is how children build their understanding of an intricate world. When parents give rich\u2014even complex\u2014answers to young children, they give them a better foundation for lifelong learning.<\/p>\n \u201cMy advice to all parents is to try and explain things as much as you can,\u201d says Kelemen, a professor and director of the Child Cognition Lab<\/a>. \u201cAnd if you can\u2019t explain, be honest about it and try and look up an answer together.\u201d<\/p>\n Kelemen studies how children and adults learn to think about the world, especially the natural world, with the goal of improving education. She\u2019s also the author of How the Piloses Evolved Skinny Noses<\/em>, a children\u2019s picture book on natural selection<\/a>.<\/p>\n In a recent study, Kelemen found second and third graders can grapple with knotty subjects, such as biological variability and the origin of species, that even many adults struggle with. She also discovered that little kids are already encumbered with inaccurate preconceptions\u2014rain falls to help flowers grow, for example\u2014that they have to work hard to set aside when learning something new. Once entrenched, those ideas can linger into adulthood. Kelemen says her findings show that science education shouldn\u2019t wait until middle or high school.<\/p>\n \u201cWe should give young children opportunities to engage with interesting and big scientific ideas from early on so that they can build a foundation for explanation and inquiry over time.\u201d<\/p>\n Kids are not born sharers.<\/strong> Evolution has programmed them to retaliate against those who make a grab for their favorite toy, to whine when someone gets more ice cream. The good news, says Peter Blake, an expert on fairness and social cognition<\/a>\u2014how we learn to live with others\u2014is that they can be taught to play nice.<\/p>\n In a recent paper, Nadia Chernyak, a postdoctoral researcher in Blake\u2019s Social Development and Learning Lab<\/a>, tested whether young children would naturally return a favor to someone who helped them out. If a peer gave them a sticker, would they share when they had extras? They wouldn\u2019t\u2014but were quick to seek revenge if someone stole a sticker from them. \u201cWe tried multiple ways to get kids to show gratitude but kept failing,\u201d says Blake, an associate professor. \u201cThe one thing that worked was telling them a story about kids who returned a favor. After that, they paid back the positive act.\u201d<\/p>\n Blake has also examined differing attitudes to fairness around the world<\/a>, including how likely kids from different countries are to share candy. He found most rejected an offer of candy if the deal involved a peer getting more than they did. But as they got older, children in some countries, including Canada and Uganda\u2014though not Mexico, Peru, or Senegal\u2014also rejected candy offers that disadvantaged their peers. Blake says it shows that while some psychological capacities have evolved to be ingrained, others, including sharing, are learned and shaped by culture.<\/p>\n \u201cChildren can still be encouraged to share by asking them to take the perspective of the child with less,\u201d says Blake. \u201cChildren\u2014and many adults\u2014are often so happy with their advantages that they simply don\u2019t think about the person with less.\u201d<\/p>\n English poet Philip Larkin didn\u2019t hold back<\/strong> on what he saw as the malign influence of parents in 1971\u2019s \u201cThis Be The Verse.\u201d They mess you up, Larkin warned (though he chose a more colorful word than \u201cmess\u201d): \u201cThey may not mean to, but they do.\/They fill you with the faults they had\/And add some extra, just for you.\u201d<\/p>\n The science doesn\u2019t support Larkin\u2019s cynicism, says Nicholas Wagner<\/a>, director of BU\u2019s Biobehavioral and Social-Emotional Development Lab<\/a>. An assistant professor, he studies how family relationships and social environments shape children\u2019s thoughts, behavior, and mental health. His research aims to show \u201chow this influence unfolds, and in what ways parents can promote positive development.\u201d<\/p>\n \u0007The sorts of language parents use when discussing shared experiences provides a framework through which children can gain the tools and skills necessary for reflecting on and growing these shared experiences, both positive and negative. In a recent project, led by doctoral student Caroline Swetlitz (CAS\u201916, GRS\u201925), Wagner and his team examined the impact of a mother\u2019s depression on childhood development. They found that when parents talked directly and deeply about their experiences\u2014what researchers call elaborative reminiscing\u2014their kids benefited. He says the same openness applies whether a parent is struggling with work stress or arguing with their partner.<\/p>\n \u201cThe sorts of language parents use when discussing shared experiences provides a framework through which children can gain the tools and skills necessary for reflecting on and growing these shared experiences, both positive and negative,\u201d says Wagner.<\/p>\n Hearing adults talk about what\u2019s going on in their lives or watching them resolve a conflict can be a positive event, teaching children that difficult situations can be handled productively.<\/p>\n Wagner also reminds parents\u2014and cynical poets\u2014that the good times count, too, and are perhaps even more influential than the bad ones. And that a little love and a few minutes\u2019 attention\u2014he recommends parents set aside 15 distraction-free minutes for their kids every day\u2014go a long way.<\/p>\n When a child gets sick\u2014really sick<\/strong>\u2014their families rally around them. Routines and roles shift: parents may spend more time at a hospital than at home. But what of the siblings left behind, still going to school, still dealing with the everyday trials of growing up?<\/p>\n In 2018, Kristin Long<\/a>, an assistant professor, cohosted an international summit of child health experts to examine new approaches to maintaining the mental health of siblings of young people with a serious illness, particularly cancer. Their recommendations, published in 2020 in the Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics<\/em>, included involving siblings in family-based psychosocial screenings, monitoring their well-being during a relative\u2019s care, and connecting them with community-based support resources.<\/p>\n But Long, who directs BU\u2019s Child & Family Health Lab<\/a>, says there\u2019s a broader lesson for families, too\u2014even those without a chronically ill child.<\/p>\n \u201cI would urge parents to think about their family as a system in which changes or stressors affect all members,\u201d she says. \u201cWhen there is a stressor in the family, parents could acknowledge that other family members also feel the effects. They might say to a child, \u2018I know that the situation has affected you, too, and it must be hard for you.\u2019 Acknowledging can go a long way; parents don\u2019t always need to fix things for their children.\u201d<\/p>\n Long is also researching other ways family and cultural dynamics interplay with chronic illness and disability. In one recent study, Long and doctoral student Monica Gordillo (GRS\u201923,\u201923) looked at how ethnicity might shape parental attitudes to autism, finding that culturally based stigma made it harder for Latina mothers to accept a diagnosis in their children.<\/p>\n \u201cOur research aims to promote more family-centered, culturally responsive models of mental health care and medical health care.\u201d<\/p>\n There\u2019s a lot to be scared of when you\u2019re a child,<\/strong> from monsters under the bed to schoolyard bullies. \u201cSome anxiety is natural\u2014it\u2019s a natural human emotion,\u201d says Donna Pincus<\/a>, a clinical psychologist and author of Growing Up Brave: Expert Strategies for Helping Your Child Overcome Fear, Stress, and Anxiety<\/em><\/a>. She advises parents not to \u201cshoo away the emotion of anxiety. As soon as you stop avoiding it, anxiety starts to come down.\u201d<\/p>\nJust how smart are babies?<\/h2>\n
Can parents speed their child\u2019s language development?<\/h2>\n
\n\u2014Helen Tager-Flusberg<\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\nDo you have to answer all those \u201cWhy?\u201d questions?<\/h2>\n
![\"\"](\"\/cas\/files\/2021\/08\/montage-2-scaled-e1630431492693-1024x889.jpg\")
How do you raise kind, thoughtful children?<\/h2>\n
![\"\"](\"\/cas\/files\/2021\/08\/montage-3-1-scaled-e1630436854209.jpg\")
If parents are unhappy, will their kids be too?<\/h2>\n
\n\u2014Nicholas Wagner<\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\nHow can families navigate stressful times together?<\/h2>\n
When kids are scared, how can you help them be brave?<\/h2>\n