Departments
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Week of 6 February 1998 |
Vol. I, No. 19 |
Feature
Article
Love's labour's not lost at BU
Although romance is far from dead on campus, many believe "it's not cool" to show your feelings too much these days, according to a recent informal survey of more than 250 BU students. And just before Valentine's Day, most students agree that it has become too commercialized, some even saying that it has become less romantic than any other day of the year.
Students surveyed say that romance appears to be on the wane among their peers. Nearly half of the men and 65 percent of women respondents say that students today are less romantic than previous generations. Despite this emerging sang froid, and with perhaps a touch of yearning, almost 90 percent described themselves as romantics.
This Valentine's Day, 92 percent of the women will send cards to their romantic partners, 63 percent to friends, and half to family members. Two percent will send cards to their pets, with most women sending cards to more than one group. Of the men, 83 percent will send cards to significant others, 23 percent to friends, 15 percent to family members, and 2 percent to pets.
As for gifts, the traditional candy, flowers, teddy bears, and jewelry are still favored. At the same time a streak of self-expression and creativity ran through the responses, with handmade cards, personal poems, and home-cooked dinners and cookies making honorable mention. "There has been a shift to 'alternative gifts,' such as dinners and trips, for Valentine's Day," says Frederic Brunel, instructor of marketing at SMG. "What I find interesting is that it's become a more participatory event. Traditionally Valentine's Day has seen a renewal of courtship rituals: men giving gifts to women. These days, more women are giving gifts and cards to men and to family members and friends."
Every student surveyed had a favorite romantic movie. Titanic surfaced as the clear winner among women, while for men, When Harry Met Sally rated most romantic. "How can you tell a movie's romantic?" asks Leslie Epstein, CAS professor of English and director of the Creative Writing Program. "By what goes on in the balcony." Epstein is the son of Philip G. Epstein, cowriter of Casablanca, the second and fourth most romantic movie, respectively, of women and men students surveyed.
While today's popular culture may romanticize casual encounters and highlight the difficulty involved in building long-term loving relationships, Nancy McLaren, assistant director of SED's Loving Well project, says the effort is decidedly worthwhile. "Being in a romantic relationship gives young adults in this transitional phase of life a chance to learn so much about themselves and what they value in a partner."