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November 30, 2009

I am writing my personal

I am writing my personal story.... I have been on both ritalin and adderall. Granted every medication is different for each individual. however as much as I love the way I can do things and it makes me feel.... being on that stuff for the rest of your life is not at all good. Here's how it goes...... (and keeop in mind this is not abuse it's the real deal.) I have bad ADD and it has been a challenge I will always battle the problem. I got on Adderall. Everything seemed like "holy crap I can actually do stuff and follow through." YOu then have to mentally prepare yourself for the come down. Same as the one on any other street drug.... You get nervous. You panic, and talk yourself out of negative feelings. Coping. Well a month goes by and now because your body has a tolerance to your dosage you must up it. Yup AMPHETAMINES.. you get the zip all day long, but soon your emotions harden. Conversations are either something you avoid... or you take part in due to the "magic Pill..." But watch out cause soon it's gonna wear off, and now you battle thoughts of "should i take another?" And keep in mind also that it keeps you running on full auto pilot. Take a car. Fill it with gas. Keep driving it till it is empty..." The car zonks out. And what about when you get off of it. Now you feel unmotivated. And you think "it's because I didn't pump DRUGS into me. If you skip a dose you want to sleep, or get anxiety. How is this different than illegal drugs. Again not all people are like this. But in my opinion sooner or later it will destroy you. Especially for the poor children who start on that crap very early on. The end.

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