The Disgraced Page (1643)
By Tristan L’Hermit
Translated by Robert Levine
Chapter One
Prelude of the disgraced page
Dear Thirinte, I know
very well that my resistance is useless, and that you unequivocally want to
know the entire course of my life, and what the state of my fortunes has been
until now. Moreover, I have not decided to permit your curious desire to
languish, but I have undertaken the task of attempting to satisfy it. How shall
I have the temerity to bring to the light of day such trivial adventures? How
is it possible that you might derive sweetness from matters in which I found so
much bitterness? And what was so difficult for me to bear might be agreeable
for you to read? What then will be said about my temerity in having dared to
write my life myself in a style so lacking in grace and strength, since people
have even dared to blame one of the finest wits of this time because he
sometimes puts himself into the noble and lively essays that came from his pen?
It is true that this marvelous genius sometimes speaks of himself favorably in
depicting himself; and I might say that, since I have nothing about which to praise
myself in this work, I don’t intend to do more than complain about myself in
it. I am not writing a fine poem, in which I wish to introduce myself as a
hero; I am tracing a deplorable story, in which I appear only as an object of
pity, and as a toy of the passions of the stars and of Fortune. The tale will
not shine with glorious ornament; the truth will merely present itself so badly
dressed that some may call it stark naked. Here you will not see a painting to
be flattering, but only a faithful copy of a lamentable original, like a
reflection in a mirror. I also have considerable cause to fear that my
excessive artlessness may provoke disgust in you as you read it. Certainly
making things up for a tale produces a more charming effect than telling truths,
since normally what actually happens in life is either ordinary or rare.
However, until this moment, my life has been so varied, and my travels and
amatory adventures have been so filled with setbacks, that their variety will
be able to give you pleasure. I have divided this entire story into small
sections, fearing to bore you with too long a discourse, and to make it easier
for you to leave me wherever what I am saying becomes less pleasing to you.
Chapter II
The origin and birth of the disgraced page
Descended from a respectable lineage, I
bear the name of a famous nobleman, who was, both in speech and in battle,
another Pericles. History praises him profusely for having been one of the
leaders of that blessed war which was waged in the Holy Land 500 long years
ago; and I may also say that there were many great honors and rewards bestowed
at other times upon our family. But even as perpetual change rules in all
matters, and according to the hidden and just laws of divine providence meager
fortunes rise and great ones are wiped out, since my birth I have watched the
prosperity of my forefathers evaporate.
Two divisions of the patrimony, one of which was made among nine
children, diminished its size significantly. But a protracted criminal trial in
which my father was involved from the time he was 17 years old very nearly
ruined him. This affair was very costly to this nobleman, and had he not shown
great fortitude in his youth, this misfortune would have cost him his life. I
shall not go into great detail about the whole lengthy, lamentable adventure,
and to want to put it down on this paper would require writing the History of
the Hardy Squire, and not the adventures of the disgraced page. It will suffice
to tell you that one of the greatest captains of our age, and one of the most
beautiful and most excellent women of the world, labored to help him, and with
the help of his friends, a royal pardon miraculously arrived, freeing him
gloriously from such a dangerous situation.
It was during this time that he made the
acquaintance of a noble, very worthy old gentleman who, finding my father
appealing and articulate, proposed to make him his son-in-law, even though my
father was from a province very far from his own, and he did not know the exact
state of my father’s financial condition. The matter was not difficult to
accomplish; the gentleman, who had many powerful friends and a lively mind, did
so many favors for my father, and generated in him such affection, that he soon
agreed to marry his daughter, and soon after brought her to the land of my
birth. Two or three years later I was born, and those who have examined my
horoscope carefully find that Mercury was very much disposed towards me, and
the Sun was favorable; it is true that Venus, who was in powerful opposition,
gave me strong inclinations which produced my disgraces. I believe that these
first impressions from the stars leave natural imprints that are difficult to
erase, and that they never compel, but ceaselessly prod. It is said that the
wise man can overcome this divine violence; but it is also necessary that he be
truly wise, and such men are rarely to be found. A good upbringing needs great help from philosophy to fight
successfully and continually against its natural enemies, who, like hydras,
ceaselessly reproduce themselves, and often grow stronger by being defeated.
Holy people, those whose souls look only upon the heavens, and who are
constantly, day and night, assailed by dangerous temptations, against which
they have no assurance at all of victory in their great battles, would
certainly agree. It is true that, to magnify their worth, God permits the
demons to interfere with them; and then it is a strange cause that always makes
us evil suggestions.
Chapter III
The childhood and upbringing of the disgraced page
I was scarcely three
years old when my maternal grandmother came to see her daughter, and, driven by
that burning and natural love which is transmitted through the blood, she asked
to supervise my education; thus I underwent a change of scenery, and having
known until that time only the trees and peacefulness of the country, I came to
look upon the various urban ornaments, and the tumult of one of the best known
cities in the world. I have often been told that at this early age I showed a
very lively intelligence, and an insatiable curiosity, and great pleasure and
care were taken to satisfy my demands. The crowd of objects that presented
themselves to my eyes with such variety was not capable of satisfying the
vivacity of my mind; I concerned myself with things that were more substantive
than those things customarily digested at a tender age. I took a zealous
interest in things which concerned the other life and the mysteries of our
religion. One of my close relatives, a prince of the church, was astounded by
the things he heard said about me, and was even more surprised when, while
hugging me one day and teasing me about the questions I had asked about the
shape of hell, I indicated to him in my way of expressing myself that I doubted
that there were shades where so many big fires were blazing.
I shall tell you that I
was scarcely more than four years old when I learned to read, and that I began
to take pleasure reading romances, thanks to my grandmother and my grandfather,
when, to divert me from this useless reading, they sent me to schools to learn
the elements of the Latin language. I devoted time to it, but not
whole-heartedly; I learned much, but it was with the kind of disgust one feels
for a tasteless food, so that it hardly did me any good. I had been given too
much freedom to taste agreeable things, and when I was forced to concern myself
with other matters more useful but difficult, I found myself not at all so
disposed. I learned because I feared the whips, but I hardly retained anything
I learned. In a moment I lost the treasures that had been crammed into me by
force, and I found them again only by force, because I had no feeling for them.
Chapter IV
How the disgraced page entered the service of a
prince
Study had made me so
melancholy that I was unable to take it any more, when a piece of good luck
happened that changed my way of life: my father had had the honor of serving
one of the greatest and most famous princes of the world during the wars; and
this thoroughly regal soul, who had no other passion than to do good to
everyone, this prince, I say, whose memory will never die, recollected a time
when my father had served him faithfully, and to show his noble gratitude,
having inquired if he had children, ordered him to present me to him, declaring
that he wanted me to be brought up with one of his own children. My
grandmother, transported with joy at the pleasing news, paid for my outfit and
equipment for such a lovely opportunity, and I had the honor of going to greet
these princes in the company of my father and maternal uncle, a man renowned
for his achievements and of great influence. I was astonished by the
magnificence and beauty of the palace into which they brought me, and
principally by the splendor that shone forth from these two divine persons to
whom I was given: the father liked my looks, and honored me with special
caresses, and the son accepted and received me favorably.
We were nearly the same
age and physique, but he was remarkably handsome, and of a nobility of mind
which gave abundant evidence of the abilities which since then have been
fulfilled with interest. At our first meeting I received in my heart a strong
and accurate impression of his merit; and since he was frank and uninhibited,
he felt great affection for me, either because he secretly sensed my
enthusiasm, or because of his natural inclination. From the time that I entered
his service, one might say that I was truly linked to him: the perfections of
the master were powerful chains for the servant. I was always as close to him
as his shadow; I watched him from the moment that he opened his eyes, and never
stopped watching him until sleep closed them. I was the spectator and mimic of
all of his activities; I was present while he prayed, while he studied, and
while he amused himself in every way. My master did not have a pedant for a
teacher: the person chosen to teach him was a highly competent man of letters,
who had him learn the finest parts of history and morality while playing. This
great man knew perfectly the art of educating children, and gave evidence of
this knowledge when he taught one of my relatives, who was perhaps, as everyone
agreed, one of the most eloquent and skilled
individuals of our time.
This man paid particular
attention to my education in just recognition of the obligation he had to my
people; but the ardent zeal he had for furthering the interests of his main
pupil prevented him from paying enough attention to protecting me. He did take
the trouble to teach me everything that he showed to my master which might
enable me to make the right kind of acquaintances and to behave properly, but
he was unable to pay the attention that was necessary to prevent me from seeing
and following the bad examples set by the many young libertines I saw in the
house. I would have needed a teacher as worthy as he for myself alone, who
would have kept a constant, close eye on me. Youth, prone to excesses, is so
subject to developing bad habits that it takes very little to corrupt it. It is
a tabula rasa for good or evil impressions, but it is much more
susceptible to bad than to good ones.
There are some men whose good behavior grows stronger in circumstances
that encourage vice, but it would practically miraculous to see children
preserving their spotless innocence in bad company. I had not been in that
court very long without seeing bad behavior there, and without taking on a
tincture of turpitude.
Chapter V
The friendship developed by the disgraced page with
another page of the house, whose friendship became detrimental to him.
I had only one comrade
who was in the same position as I was with my master, and he was given the same
treatment as I; he was the child of illustrious birth, and he showed that he
was a noble child. I respected him and loved him very much, because of his good
heart and disposition.; we strove for the favors of our master without envy; he
was not jealous that my memory was much better than his, and unfortunately he gave
me no competition for good judgment, of which he had more than I. I often
whispered to make him remember things that he had forgotten; but he was always
able to warn me about what concerned my duties. He was so wise a boy that I
never was able to go wrong when I was with him; but my evil fate wanted me to
make the acquaintance of the most malicious and mischievous page in the court.
I have reason to believe that he was the instrument who was used by my evil
genius to tempt and to destroy me.
This evil demon in
disguise cleverly knew how to interrupt the happy progress of my studies, by
secretly showing me the subtle teachings of an art which led only to the
damnation of souls. It was he who first taught me how to throw dice and play
cards, and who, taking advantage of my innocence to seize the little money I
had, drove me mad with the desire to recover my losses, and to plunge me
constantly more deeply into calamity by fueling the flames of a deceptive and
mad hope. He stamped this passion upon
me in such a way that it soon grew as strong as my passion for study, and for
some time I was hardly every without dice in my writing case or cards among my
books; this dissoluteness went so far that I often neglected things that I had
to learn, and instead of turning the pages of books I turned nothing but cards.
Our teacher soon learned of my debauchery, but he could not get me away from
it. In vain he used his whips and his precepts on this subject; the sickness
was already too deeply rooted. With tears in my eyes, I often promised to stop
playing, but as soon as he was out of sight, I had three dice or a pair of
cards in my hands. What made me even more incorrigible was the fact that the
fineness of my mind at such a young age had gained me notable friends, who
prevented me from reforming. Whenever I
believed that I had been caught and thought that I would have to answer to my
teacher, I went and threw myself into the arms of powerful people, who
protected me. Many young princes with whom I had the honor of being acquainted
time and again obtained pardon for me; relying on their tolerance, I conceived
a strong expectation of sinning with impunity.
Consider for a moment
that the powerful people whose favor should have been advantageous to me were
unfortunately working for my demise!
And consider how the good qualities that I had enabled me to find ways
to behave badly. Finally, the love I
had for gaming made me feel disgust for the wormwood of grammatical
studies. I found pleasures everywhere
except in study, and, instead of doing my lessons. I set about reading and
reciting frivolous stories. My memory was prodigious, but it was an arsenal
fortified only with utterly useless weapons. I was a living index of romances
and fabulous tales; I was capable of charming all indolent ears; I was a
bottomless well of chatter for all kinds of different people, and could amuse
people of all ages. I could tell, in an easy, pleasing manner, all the tales
known to us, from those of Homer and Ovid to those of Aesop and the Ass’ Skin.
When the court stayed in
some of the royal homes, all the young princes had their apartments lined up in
a row; and it was during those times that I had more freedom to go speak to
them. There was often one of them who, finding himself indisposed, asked our
teacher for me to spend time with him, and to put him to sleep with my stories.
Their health was so precious that on this occasion no one was concerned about
the time I was losing, and I myself was delighted to be losing it. It was at
that time, when I was considered necessary as an entertainer for am aristocrat,
that I boldly undertook some foolhardy actions. Since I could rely on someone
who would intervene for me, I went comfortably to gamble, and to increase my
losses, together with one of my peers. My teacher sometimes had whole lists of
misdemeanors that I had committed, and I had deserved to be whipped more than a
dozen times for them. And yet it only cost me a tear or two, which fear made me
spill, and some sad supplication addressed elegantly to one of these young
stars. I remember one of them, a very important person, who often asked pardon
for me while he was alive, and after his death I was often forgiven in honor of
his memory.
Chapter VI
Deplorable death of one of the masters of the
disgraced page.
This young sun had not yet begun to shine, and he gave incomparable,
miraculously great hopes of having divine qualities. He was extremely handsome,
but he was even more gifted in mind and judgment, and he spoke with such rationality
and sensibility, that he captured the imagination of everyone who approached
him. Great minds have noticed this
beautiful life, which was both brilliant and yet so brief that it passed like a
flash of lightning. I shall say nothing about his qualities of mind which are
possiblymait as numerous and as worthy
of memory as many others which we might value. I shall only remark here about
one childish trait of his naturally compassionate nature. One evening, when he
was not feeling good, his governess, a wise, thoughtful woman, renowned for her
virtue, advised him to send for me to amuse him for a few hours with my
fabulous stories; and since I wanted to offer a story to fit my listener, I had
recourse to the fables of Aesop. That prevented him from looking for amusement
in other areas, which had upset him; and since his health demanded that he rest
for a while, I had the honor of conversing with him several times. After his
patience and curiosity had exhausted my store of other stories where animals
argue with each other, I began to tell him a certain adventure of a wolf and a
lamb drinking together at the stream of a spring. I told him how the wolf, who
was drinking downstream of the lamb came to accuse him of spoiling his water
out of ill will; I described to him the humble, modest reply of this gentle
animal, who was not apt at quarrelling. Then I described how the wolf, looking
for another pretext to devour this innocent, reproached him by claiming that he
remembered the lamb bleating in the early morning in a sheep pen two years ago,
and the shepherds woke up and beat his grandfather; then the lamb replied that
that could not be possible, since he himself was only two months old. At this
point, this young prince, seeing where things were going, quickly pulled his
little arms out of the bed, and in a voice full of fear cried out, almost with
tears in his eyes: “Ah! Little page, I see clearly that you are going to say
that the wolf ate the lamb. I beg you to say that he did not eat him.”
This characteristic compassion was expressed so tenderly and in a such a
pleasing manner that everyone watching was overwhelmed with admiration, and I
myself was so powerfully touched that consideration for him instantly compelled
me to change the ending of my story to satisfy the feelings of this little
wonder; and the change was done so smoothly that hardly anyone could have
detected my compassionate alteration.
After receiving such an honor, I did not fail to return to this royal
retreat, and I presented him with an
opportunity to help me out, that is, I implored him to prevent someone from
doing me harm. This did me much good, resulting in a n absolute command from
this little prince, who might easily be called great because of his majestic
birth, but much more because of his divine qualities. Oh, that most beautiful
things should be so fragile! This divine flower was not among those flowers
that are called eternal, it was a lily which will hardly last through a
morning. Earth gave him back to Heaven, before having received from him more
than a gleam. And Europe lost through his death great hopes and great fears.
The best physicians were called to treat his illness; and since the men of this
profession hardly ever agree in their judgments, they gave different advice on
the manner of treating him while he was ill, and did not stop quarreling after
he died. However, they were all compelled to swear that there was some
defective element in the young prince’s body which prevented him from retaining
for any length of time his soul, which demonstrated, shortly before it rose to
heaven, that it was luminous. The entire court grieved with good reason, and I
myself felt a powerful and justifiable regret for him.
Chapter VII
How the disgraced page paid court to his master,
who fell ill with a three-day fever.
But I must stop this
digression to return to the worthy master to whom I had been given, who did not
lack good will towards me, and who sometimes joined the efforts to obtain
pardon for me when I erred. I knew very well how to use my time to get him to
do something when necessary. I watched for the days on which, because of the
progress he had made in his studies, and the prudent way in which he had obeyed
the orders of our tutor, he was capable of getting anything he wanted; and then
I would supply him with words, through my comrade, who good naturedly got him
to speak words which brought absolution for me. Often I found myself present
without being seen, when my trial was going on; my master made me hide behind a
tapestry while he argued that my trespasses be forgiven, and by means of his
ardent and persistent prayers he warded off the punishment my sins
deserved. In spite of these ruses, our
tutor did not cease surprising me sometimes so subtly that neither my master
nor any other friendly prince was able to prevent my being punished. To do this, he pretended to know the sins
that I had committed, and smiled at me on the entire day before punishing me;
not believing that I had anything on my conscience, I found myself awoken in
the morning without warning. But when my master was even the slightest bit ill,
everything which might harm his health was of such importance that no one dared
to chastise me during that time, out of fear of provoking his tears and intensifying
his illness. In this way his illnesses increased my own, and gave me the
audacity to undertake everything with insolence. On one occasion he was sick
with a three-day fever, during which I not only had the pleasure of studying
nothing at all, but also the freedom to do whatever I pleased. I was, in
effect, in charge of entertaining my patient; and every day I came up with
fresh surprises with which to give him pleasure and distraction, whose curative
powers were no less than those of the potions he was taking. He had only to
express a desire for anything a man could do and he got it immediately, and it
was I who, according to my moods, provoked him to want everything.
During his illness money
was no object, and I saw to it that he consumed in one month more than he had
spent on entertainment in a year. As though it had not been enough to make him
acquire every sort of toy to amuse himself in bed, like tarot cards,
spillikins, trictracs and other trifles of the palace, I made him spend great
sums to purchase animals, both common and rare, of different prices. I urged
him to purchase quails trained to fight on tables, as they do in England, so
that he might have the pleasure of watching this spectacle, and watching bets
placed by his servants on the outcome. In addition, he had a great number of
fine cocks for the same purpose. Then I made him want to buy for me some
chickens from Barbary, so that, giving them as wives to these brave feathered
captains, we might see a new species of bird emerge from their love. After that
I bought for his amusement three very different parrots for their impressive
size and plumage, two small monkeys, a royal eagle, and two young tamed bears.
With this arrangement, it was said that I had made a Noah’s ark out of the house.
What was worse about this arrangement for the servants was that they had to
leave their lodgings to make room for all of these animals, which had been very
costly for me, and were good for my master. For that same vicious page who had
taught me how to gamble had also taught
me how to make a profit; and I rarely made a significant purchase without
earning some money, which often did not stay with me very long, since as soon
as I met some gamblers I easily lost what I had so easily gained.
Chapter VIII
My master had had many
hard nights, and, since he had a very delicate constitution, giving him
sleeping pills was too risky. Instead,
artificial fountains were used, which, by the gentle sound and coolness that
they exuded in his room, created salutary relief; and, to provide variety, a
lute, whose harmony produced the same effect, was used. I contributed by
inventing another way of getting him to sleep peacefully in the mornings, by
proposing that he acquire a linnet, to be placed at the break of day on the
window of his room; and I was so bold as to tell him that I knew of one that
was more wonderful than the others because it could whistle so pleasantly; and
knowing that difficulty often increases the desire for things, and having
spared no effort or expense to purchase it, I told him that the person to whom
the linnet belonged was enchanted by it, and could not be convinced to sell it
without being offered a great deal of money, and without being told that it was
necessary to help cure his Highness. I said so much in so few words that I
received ten pistols to buy it, and I had made my arrangements to find a
reputable dealer, then I unfortunately met three or four pages whom I knew, who
were shooting dice on the steps of a great gate. For a while I hesitated to
join them, but finally the temptation grew irresistible. I imagined that I
would win, or that I would at least leave the game when I lost half of my
money, but I did neither. I played timidly from the beginning, and after having
lost part of my money, I wanted to battle my misfortune with an obstinacy that
led to losing the rest; so thoroughly that, to purchase the imagined linnet, I
had no more than two quarters of the écu I borrowed on what I had left.
Heavy with anguish, red
with shame, without knowing to what I might resort, I went running through the
village without knowing where I was going. Finally, after a thousand desperate
thoughts, I firmly resolved to pay for the audacity in this adventure, and to
endure resolutely the storm which threatened me. I quickly went to a place
where great numbers of birds were usually sold, but I was unfortunate enough to
find none there; after asking many people where I might get a linnet, I was
sent to a bird-catcher who made a living by supplying large quantities of
birdcages. At the time he was not at home, and his wife was so scrupulous, or
perhaps fearful, that she did not dare let me look at his birds in his absence,
which did not make me despair. Finally, as I was growing uncomfortable because
I could not get a bird quickly, and they had been impatiently waiting for me
for a long time, I saw the bird-catcher return, carrying on his shoulder a net
filled with goldfinchs and greenfinches, among which we were fortunate enough
to find a very beautiful linnet. I asked him to sell it, and I got it for
thirty sous, with a cage.
I quickly returned to the
house, and, pretending to be happier than I was, I bravely showed my wild
linnet to my master, he was very pleased to learn that I had overcome thousands
of obstacles to get this incomparable creature for him. He immediately wanted
to enjoy the pleasure he should get from this expensive acquisition, and he had
all the windows of his room closed, and had everyone withdraw, to make the
little bird, who was less frightened to see people near his cage than he was of
the beaks of the goldfinches in the net, more comfortable with him. One the
first day that I brought him I easily found excuses for its silence, but after
it had been silent two or three days, my excuses wore thin. However, I made a
thousand secret prayers to Heaven for it to untie its tongue; for whatever
little tune my linnet had hummed, I had insisted that it was at least
miraculous, I had so prepared myself to pour praise upon it. But unable to accept
this consolation which was supposed to disguise my misbehavior, and finding
myself troubled by my master’s insistently repeating to me, whenever he looked
at the bird: “What does it mean, little page, that your linnet does not say a
word?” I replied innocently: “Sir, I must reply that her failure to speak does
not indicate that she is not thinking about it.”
At this point the whole
company began to laugh, and even my master, who was the most involved in the
matter, could not prevent himself from doing the same. It is true that after he had been refreshed
with this pleasant emotion he soon had another feeling, which was hardly
agreeable for me, which indicated that he had some fear that I had cheated him
in the purchase. I warded off this attack with enough skill, steadily insisting
that this linnet was first-rate, and that as soon as it felt secure its little
beak would accomplish wonderful things; and, by good luck, as I was testifying
for her, she happened to testify as well for me, spouting out a little song
which silenced my accusers, and compelling my master, pried loose from his
belief that I had swindled him, once again to take up the cause of my true
innocence. Finally time, which had usually revealed the truth, was working
every day to convict me of bad faith, and I was about to take my medicine when
the stars which were looking favorably on me granted me the means to deflect
the blow.
One of my noble relatives
came to see me during this time; judging that I had a very appealing mind and
disposition, he gave me two pistoles to use them to play real tennis; I sowed
them immediately on a table so favorable to the three dice that reaped it that
within moments they multiplied themselves into 25 or 30, and by the time I left
the table I boldly decided to redeem with 10 pistoles the 20 blows of the whip
facing me. For this project I went to look for an actor to help me put on my
act: he was an impetuous footman, to whom I gave elaborate instructions about
everything he would have to say and do to put my mind at ease. Then I composed
myself and went to find my master, and said to him that he should not worry
about the silence of his linnet, and that the money he had given for it would
be returned with good will, and that it would be a great favor to the person
who had sold it if he would give it back for the same price, because she felt
such great regret at the loss of her bird that she had become ill about it. At
that point I gave him ten pistoles from my recent winnings; but even as our
hopes are vain, and as appearances are deceiving, this speech and this action
which I had contrived so carefully to deliver myself from a well-founded fear
served only to increase my difficulties. My master inferred from what I said
that I had made a judgment very favorable for him about something that he had
come to scorn, and he believed that he had bought a great prize at a very low
price; the more I tried to persuade him to stop deceiving himself, the more he
persisted in believing that his linnet was a wonder. I almost became angry with
him, because of the certain knowledge that I had of his error, and because I
was myself an interested party. Here is the kind of thing I believed would
extricate myself from such a tangled web; and it is possible an excuse sufficient
to have been come upon by a child who was only eleven or twelve years old. ???
After having understood that I would get no further talking to my master about
him giving up the linnet, I went to find our tutor and I presented to him the
ten pistols which were supposed to expiate my crime, making him believe that
those from whom I had bought the linnet had sent the pistols back to retain
possession of it, and at the same time I gave the appearance of sincerity that
I had practiced to support my words. Our tutor had already gone beyond the
difficulty of carrying off the bird without the consent of the prince, who was
firm in his resolve to hold on to the things that appealed to his imagination,
when a sobbing woman, who seemed like a woman possessed, threw herself abruptly
among us, asking for justice and mercy; she was the wife of a certain
imprudent, gambling hotel-keeper, from whom I had taken some money when he was
on a losing streak on which he had lost five or six hundred crowns; his wife,
informed of this disgrace, had no second thoughts about what course of action
to take; she believed that all that was necessary to be assured of getting the
money back was to raise a ruckus among those who had won it, who would then
quickly pay some attention to his household,
and to the imprudence of her husband. This demon, having learned that I
was one of those who had gained some part of the sum her husband had lost, made
such a racket in our tutor’s room, that I lost my composure and my speech; I
could not reply to him with one sensible word, I found myself so confused in
this adventure. Our tutor noticed my astonishment, and suspected that the ten
pistols that he had in his hand had come from this direction; but he had no
sooner opened it to show them to this possessed woman than she threw herself
upon them with a great shout, examining each denomination, and telling how the
shares had been divided at her place, to give him the means of putting them
together. ??? At the same time I was whipped, and other coins, trophies of
other adventures, were found in my pocket. The lackey who had been my
co-conspirator happened to be present at this ruckus, and he tried in vain to
escape, and from the moment he found
himself caught in the act (with his doublet down), the naked truth about me was
painfully clear. The intrigue which I had tied with so many knots was dissolved
by this accident, and I was whipped thoroughly, as much for my swindling as for
having invented so many lies, and for having played with three dice.
Chapter IX
The first meeting of the disgraced page with the
debauched schoolboy who wrote verse.
If this adventure did not
reform me completely, at least it served to prevent me from forming the habit
of committing the vices of theft and lying. The confusion in which it left me
had more of an effect on me than the lashes of the whips, and compelled me to
concentrate on my work and on my reading. From that point on I focused my
mind’s abilities on things that gave pleasure to everyone, and which harmed no
one. I soon applied myself to portrait-painting, having great inclination and
aptitude for this art; at others times, when I had leisure, I memorized whole
plays in beautiful verses which were very much in fashion at that time; I know
more than ten thousand lines, which I recited with as much emotion as if I had
myself been filled with the passions they represented. These graceful
performances earned me the friendship of many people, and among others, of a
troupe of actors who came three or four times a week before the whole court,
where my master was among the leading figures. I remember that among the actors
there was one who was famous for expressing sad and angry reactions; he was the
Roscius of that time, and everyone found a secret magic in his monologues. He
was supported by another person who had a fine figure, lively expression, and
powerful voice, but was somewhat inferior to the first in majesty of face and
intelligence. I liked these actors very
much, and sometimes took refuge among them, when I had a secret fear, and my
tutor had shown signs of displeasure. They made much of me because of my
unusual intelligence and memory; and when I went to tell them that I was in
trouble, and that our tutor was looking for me, they found a way to hide me,
and, bringing me with them to the palace when they were going to give a
performance, as soon as my master passed behind their theater to speak with
them while waiting for them to get ready to act, they did not neglect the
opportunity to put in, as a group, a good word for me. My master, who had not
seen me for a day or two, and who knew that I was in trouble, was soon moved by
their request, and immediately went to our tutor, who was unable to resist his
request; when I heard his words make such an effect, I came out from behind the
bass viol where I had taken refuge, and threw myself at the feet of my master
to thank him for the latest favor that he had obtained for me.
On a day that my fists
were really itching, and I had somewhat rudely punched the nose of a young
nobleman my equal in age and strength, but not in skill, I took refuge among
the actors. It was a day on which the actors were not performing, but they
could not exactly call it a day of rest; their debauchery was deafening. Eight
or ten of them were under a trellis in their garden, and they were carrying by
the head and feet a young man wrapped in a dressing gown; his slippers were
scattered, together with his nightcap, in all the corners of the garden; and
the hue and cry that was being made around him was so great that I was
terrified. The victim was not all that compliant, as he indicated by the
insults that he heaped upon them in a very pleasant voice, making his
persecutors howl with glee. Finally I asked one of them, who was less busy,
what this spectacle meant, and what this man had done to be treated in such a
fashion. He told me that the man was a poet in their pay, and he did not want
to play ball, because he was in the mood to write verse; they had finally
decided to compel him to play. At that point I intervened to end the
disagreement, and begged these gentlemen to leave him in peace for my sake; in
this way I released him from the torture. And when he learned who I was, and
his hat and slippers were returned, he came to me to pay his compliments,
treating me as his liberator, and as a person for whom he had great respect.
All of this rhetoric tricks were extraordinary; they were only hyperbole and
witty routines learned at school, bloated with vanity. However, the tenacity
with which he argued was agreeable, and indicated that his natural gifts were
unusual.
As soon as we started a
conversation, having entered a lane where we might talk more peacefully, he
recited for me some verses that he had composed for the theater, and other
works, where I found more imaginative force than delicacy. After listening to
him for a long time, I told him about how the greatest writers of the age
wrote; and I made them sound as though they would appeal to this provincial
poet; but he pretended to admire the fine qualities of my mind, and flattered
my vanity so well that I decided to get my a good position with my master, as
soon as I got back into his good graces. I was moved to work in his favor by
two motives, one was the regard I had for his temperament, the other a sympathy
I had for his bad luck, having learned first that he earned very little money
for writing many lines of verse.
Chapter X
How the disgraced page was saved from the hands of
his tutor
I ate very well with the
actors, and we were still at table, where some continued to drink toasts and
others amused themselves by telling funny stories, when one of the servants
came to warn them that they were wanted at the palace; at the same time they
chose the piece that they had to play and the way they would bring me in; it
was behind the curtain of the door of one of their coaches. And as soon as we
alighted, we meet on the staircase we were climbing one of the great princes of
the land. Two or three of my friends, who were told immediately of my distress,
spoke to him in my defense, and to give weight to their arguments, I suddenly
threw myself at his feet, my face covered with tears. This great prince had
pity on my suffering and fear, and he turned to see if my master would not
follow him in his retinue, to give the tutor direct orders not to whip me this
time. But, unfortunately for me, my master could not be found, and he did not
come to the performance at all because of some small discomfort from which he
was suffering. After the performance was over, I went to appeal for my safety
to the great prince, who was going to bed; to protect me while he was waiting
to obtain pardon for me, he put me in the custody of one of his pages. He was a
significant nobleman of a glorious and valiant race; this boy, proud and feared
by all of his companions, took me into his care, and I clung to a corner of his
coat, which I did not let go for a moment, and that did me some good. The next
morning he brought me to breakfast with him, and we spent the rest of the day
amusing ourselves in many ways, and I clung to him closely; as soon as I
spotted someone from our house, I hid myself under the shelter of his coat. In
the evening my protector decided to try to make some money with two officers of
the prince in the guard room; and when I was witness and judge of the (blows,
strokes, ??), I found myself unexpectedly seized by someone who was on my side
and my judge, who punched me so roughly that he seemed to want to be my
executioner. I had neither the strength nor the courage to cry out at this
surprise, either because I was terrified or because I respected him; but in my
terror I responded like a drowning man, I did not quit my post, I held fast to
the coat tail that I continued to hold in my hands; and my protector, swept up
in the intensity of the game, was unaware that I was under siege until he
finally sensed that he was being stripped of his coat. At that point he turned
around and saw that the swindlers were taking the liberty of stealing in the
royal residence; but, when he saw me in danger, he set out in an unusual way to
free me. He hardly said a word without striking a blow at the same time, and,
since his natural impulsiveness gave me no other way of expressing himself, he
made known to our tutor, while smashing him in the teeth, that I had found
safety. The page’s arm was strong, and the good man’s jaw weak, so that his
mouth was full. He was compelled by this effort to let go of my hand, and to
use both of his to ward off the blows which began to rain down on his face.
Finally, the prince’s guards cried halt, and I withdrew with my defender,
leaving behind my tutor in disarray, gargling and complaining loudly about a
broken tooth and several other loosened ones.
Chapter XI
About the peace patched together (??) between the
disgraced page and his tutor
The next day our tutor
came with my master to find the prince, to make him complain about the bad
treatment he had received, but we had already informed him about what had
happened; and since the action taken by the tutor seemed violent, the prince
had little concern for what he had suffered. He denounced me in vain, he was
compelled to obey this absolute power which ordered him to pardon me. But
although on the he apparently yielded to the authority of legitimate authority,
he continued to nurse a grudge that he considered entirely justifiable. He was
already impatient to find a new pretext for which to punish me for the page’s
insolence, when the occasion presented itself.
The actors’ poet, having
learned that I was back in the good graces of my master, did not hesitate to
come visit me, so that I might introduce him to my master, as I had promised. I
presented him in good will; he had the honor of conversing a half hour with
this young prince, and he even had the satisfaction of receiving an emolument
for these four encomiastic verses, which he composed on the spot:
My muse consecrates, to this handsome prince,
a world of praises, which fly
to the palace of angels,
and are
deathless.
Although these verses
have their faults, we were not capable of discerning them; we only found these
bombastic terms, which he had culled from the direction of the Pyrenees,
pleasing. I don’t know how, in taking his leave of my master, this dissolute
poet unexpectedly uttered some obscenity, which was a habitual part of the way
he spoke. Our tutor found out, and took this pretext to avenge the affront he
had received because of me. The next morning he came to surprise me, and
berated me about the care that needed to be taken to protect a young prince
from new people, attacking me for having been so foolhardy as to present an
unknown, wretched man to my master. But he ended his exhortation with so many
lashes of the whip that I lost hope of seeing them end; and I easily understood
that this punishment owed less to the foul language that had wounded the chaste
ears of my master, than from the boldness of the blow that had broken my
tutor’s teeth.
Chapter XII
How the disgraced page was asked to give his
judgment on a lovely ode.
This harsh rebuke made me
more restrained thereafter, but did nothing to remove my taste for poetry and
the love I had for collecting the most beautiful verses. In the house we had a
courtier who was strong and fastidious, and who was known for having fought
several memorable battles, and for having a capable, sensible mind; this person
had some respect and some good will for me, and sometimes gave me advice that
easily equaled that given by our tutor; for my part, I was also comfortable
continuing our friendship, as the signs of my esteem and the pleasure I took in
speaking with him indicated. He told a story well; and since he was skilled at
arguing about interesting things, he took great pleasure in listening to such
arguments. That is why I always turned to him, when the occasion presented
itself, to recite to him some lovely work of the muses, as soon as I had
learned something new by heart. A young steward in charge of my master’s
kitchen often came to listen to me when I recited some verses, and, by
listening to me recite, imagined that he would be capable of using it to help a
passion that was tormenting him; perhaps he had heard that Love is a master in
all branches of knowledge, and can make even the most recalcitrant minds fly.
One day, while the
courtier and I were talking, and he was searching a collection of poetry for a
poem he admired, this love-struck steward quietly came up to me, took me by the
arm, and whispered in my ear that he had an ode, which was not badly done, he
wanted me to look at; I asked who had written it, and he refused to tell me,
saying only that it was a young man with a lively intelligence, who was in love
with the daughter of a linen-seller; at that point he opened a sheet of paper
on which I could understand nothing; it was a strange scribble, with grotesque
letters badly put together and, to be exact, the hand-writing of someone who
did not know how to write. Our courtier asked what this mysterious secret was,
and if he could be in on it.
I replied to him that
these were verses which could pass for a mystery, since they were difficult to
decipher. But the young steward, who had both composed and inscribed it, too
the occasion to assure our courtier that he was very familiar with this
handwriting, and could read these verses very clearly if we would care to
listen to them. We took him at his word and, growing pale and blushing before
even opening his mouth, he then read his ode, which contained only these four
verses:
My Clorie, My Clorie,
To whom I have given my heart,
All my life I shall be
Your very humble servant.
When he finished speaking
the final line of his verses, he took a deep bow, as though to match the
elegance of what he said with an elegant gesture, and he asked us to judge the
little ode that she had recited to us, adding, to obtain our approval, that the
author of this work had the reputation of being a man of intelligence. At that
point we looked at each other, the courtier and I, and broke out into such a
loud laugh that three or four officers who were in the next room came quickly
to find out what was going on. After having held my sided for a quarter of an
hour without being able to say a word, I finally made them understand that some
carefully polished verses that one of their companions had showed us provoked
us to laugh. But the matter became even more enjoyable when we learned from one
of them that the love-sick steward had shut himself up for two days and two
nights in a cave, and had squandered twenty five sheets of paper to get this
lovely work exactly right.
Chapter XIII
By what adventure the disgraced page gave a proxy
to someone else to be punished in his place.
No calm on any sea lasts
forever: and I lived in peace for only a brief moment before my own passions
provoked a storm. Gambling always made trouble for me, because I was unable to
quit, or to play safely. On the other hand, reading fiction had made my
temperament haughtier and less patient. When I had some trivial disagreement
with my peers, I imagined that I should launch an all-out war, that I was a
Homeric hero, or at least some paladin or knight of the round table. It was not
every day that complaints about the punches I had thrown reached the ears of
our tutor; and what gave him the most discomfort was that he scarcely had the
freedom to punish me because of the powerful support of which I had made use to
protect me. One day, while talking to a monk, he learned that sometimes in his
monastery they gave the young boys who seemed to be incorrigible a form of
admonishment and discipline that often cured them of their bad habits. Our
tutor was delighted to have found this way of punishing me without disturbing
himself in the least, and without my master having the means to intercede for
me.
Having notified this good
Father that he had a bad young rascal, in need of such admonitions, to send to
him, he waited for my first important misstep and, hiding as well as he could
what he knew, gave me the next day, at eleven o’clock in the morning, a sealed
letter addressed to the reverend Father; I was very pleased to receive this
fine commission because it gave me liberty to stroll anywhere I wished for an
hour, and as I went down the grand staircase of the palace, I wanted to do
something with some coins in my pocket that were annoying me. I had so little
hope of winning anything with so little money that I bet it all on one throw,
and Fortune, who wanted to keep me among those who follow her and whom she
deceives, pretended this time that she wanted to smile upon me. I made such a
large sum at that moment that I had nearly all the money in the game (??) At
that moment I remembered the commission that I had been given, and spoke of
leaving, showing the letter that I was charged with delivering. But one of the
players, who had lost the most, and who still had some money and some rings to
lose, beseeched me so much not to leave the game that I agreed to his request,
provided, however, that I could find someone to carry my message. A big fellow,
carrying a sword, offered himself as ready for this task, which he promised to
carry out provided that I give him a coin; I gave him a third, so that his pay
might not amount to a fortune.
This fellow, led by
misfortune, carried out his duties, and was mistaken for me. The curses and
terrible oaths that he was able to utter as he insisted that the punishment was
intended for someone else confirmed the belief of the man beating him that he
was the incorrigible rascal who had been sent to him. Then, as I was growing
impatient for his return, and when the game had ended, I see him come back,
pale as death. I feared that he had lost my letter, and that this accident
accounted for his change of facial expression, but he quickly let me know
otherwise, showing me with his fists that his problem was anger. Those who were
present watching us compelled me to give him half a pistole for the painful
trip that he had made for me, after he had told us of his adventure.
As for me, delighted to
have paid such a low price, I went to find our tutor to bring him the reply to
his letter. All I told him was that the good Father kissed his hands, and I
delivered the report sadly, with my eyes fixed on the ground, so that, judging
by my gestures that his plan had been successful, he was unable to suppress a
smile, and he was not disabused of his notion until he again saw the good
father, who told him that I was a great blasphemer, which he could not believe,
since no one had ever reported hearing me swear. But the pleasant story of my
confrontation has been told.
Chapter XIV
How the disgraced page was taken for a magician.
Having escaped this
danger, I became more circumspect in my actions, and firmly resolved to abandon
all the things that might bring down upon me the anger of my tutor, and keep
me, even for a moment, from being with my master. I had no other passion than
to be with him diligently in his studies and in his amusements. His mind was
curious about all pleasant things, and I set about assiduously finding stories
and tales which fit his feelings; sometimes he even gave me secret commissions
to buy books, so that after I read them I could talk to him about them every
evening when he went to bed. One day, among other historical books, by chance I
opened a book by Baptiste Porta, entitled Natural Magic, and, finding in
it some small subjects which seemed appealing to me, I bought it, to try out
some of the things myself. I made a great mystery of this book to the young
prince whom I served, and when our tutor was not present we read all of its
chapters, to see what pleasant invention we ourselves might put into practice,
with the least expense and difficulty. We found the way to use special candles to produce the illusion that
all those present had the heads of animals; but making them seemed difficult.
We very much enjoyed trying another secret of the same kind, which could be
performed easily and inexpensively. It was a combination of camphor and sulfur
mixed with whiskey, whose flame was supposed to make the faces of the departed appear.
Only my comrade was aware of our attempt at this fine spectacle, and I took my
time secretly placing the drugs that I had bought under the bed of my master.
In the evening, when we saw the right time to end our enterprise ?? , my master
said that he wanted to go to sleep, and I went to get a great silver bowl to
make a lantern of my combustible matter. Therefore I lit my death lamp in the
center of the place and extinguished all the torches.
My master quickly got out
of bed to watch this beautiful piece of magic, but we were able to see almost
nothing in our faces, the smoke was so thick; we had to get very close to this
dark light; my master sat down at one side on a velvet pillow, and we were
kneeling on the other side, to look at our faces, which were pale and sometimes
purple. We had not been doing this very long when there was a small sound
behind us, as though something had pressed against the mat on which we were
seated. My master was the first to turn his head, and he saw a new face, which
was uglier than ours, and was dressed in an odd fashion; at the sight of this
strange vision all three of us let out a shout, and my master fainted with
fear.
This frightening phantom
was our tutor, whom the unpleasant smell of our artificial lamp had provoked to
come down from our room to see what it was. He had approached us without making
a sound to surprise us, with a napkin tied around his throat to protect him
against catching a cold, with a red nightshirt, and a cap on his head which
showed that he had no hair, because he wore a wig during the day; in effect, he
was dressed like an old man going to bed. My master, never having seen anything
like this, seeing his face look so haggard because of the false brightness,
almost died of fright; as for my comrade and me, whose temperaments were less
sensitive, we remained frozen in place. Our tutor made so much noise that
servants in a nearby antechamber came running; the lamp that they were carrying showed that the prince
had passed out, and that my companion and I were hardly in much better shape;
the tumult was so great that is almost impossible to describe it; everyone was
crying, weeping, lamenting. One of the servants remembered seeing by chance one
of my books, on whose spine was written Magic, and he said that I had
made some diabolic conjuration which caused this accident: the whole house was
on the point of pouncing on me. But my master soon recovered from his faint,
and by describing the adventure accurately he got me out of trouble; but no
matter what he said to excuse me, I was considered a great criminal, and I
received twenty lashes of the whip for this innocent piece of mischief.
Chapter XV
How the disgraced page struck a cook six times with
a sword, and how he ran away for the first time.
For more than fifteen
days people talked of nothing else but my magic trick, about which each spoke
according to his own temperament. The wisest, considering my intention rather
than the result of my recipe, did not excuse me at all for being young; but the
ignorant exaggerated my fault, and made extravagant statements upon such a
trivial topic. Among the others was a certain brainless cook who was known to
have an inclination to be foolish, and he had decided to frighten me to take
vengeance for having frightened everybody. One evening, when my master was away
in the countryside for two or three days, and I had gone to sleep early because
I had played hand ball so hard all day long, this foolish chef put on a white
shirt over his doublet and sprinkled it with blood; he also put on his head a
turban made out of a towel, with a great quantity of chicken feathers; with
this he took a burning brand and put it to his mouth, and came to draw the
curtain of my bed and to look directly at me in this outfit. I was only
pretending to be asleep, so that he did not have much difficulty making me open
my eyelids. I soon as I saw this ghost, I felt transported by an emotion I
cannot describe. I don’t know what kind of audacity and anger mingled with my
fear, but I certainly know that I jumped immediately for my sword, and that I
furiously attacked the image that was frightening me. I beat it back to my door
with great blows of my sword, unable to understand what it was saying, and I
would have done still more damage if it had not run down the staircase. A
number of people soon came up to my room with torches and, finding me pale with
fear and my sword naked in my hand, asked me what I thought I had done; I
replied that I had chased away a spirit which had come to torment me in my
room. At that point I was assured that it was a cook of the household whom I
had wounded with six blows of the sword, and he was in danger of dying. You can
imagine that I was shocked by this news, and that the idea of the punishment
awaiting me frightened me all night long as much as a second ghost would have.
At soon as day broke the next day, I got dressed to save myself, knowing very
well that no one would make an effort to detain me, because no one in the house
had the authority to lay a hand on me, except our tutor, who had gone to the
countryside with my master. I thought that if I had been whipped brutally for
trivial errors, I would be punished much more for having killed a man; and this
line of reasoning made me panic. I made my way out of the palace, and did not
stop until I had covered ten or twelve leagues. But since I was eager and full
of energy I covered this ground so vigorously that I ended up almost crippled
in a house in a village where I stayed four or five days, without being able to
go any further because of the blisters on my feet.
I had decided to return
to the province in which I was born, to avoid returning to court until I had
grown enough so that there would be no talk of whippings; but as I was about to
leave this house, I was astonished to see an old man who had once served as
valet to my grandfather approaching; this very knowledgeable man, after
accepting the charge of finding me, had made such diligent inquiries about me
all along the road that he finally discovered where I was. First he rid me of
my fears, swearing that they were ill-founded, and that had I killed a man of
higher rank than a cook in such an encounter, I would have done nothing wrong.
I believed some of what he told me, and pretended
to believe it all to
deceive him. The good man looked everywhere for a horse for me, wanting me to
use his own, but he was unable to find one, so that he was compelled to follow
me on foot during this journey. But since he was nearly sixty years old, he
could hardly go two or three leagues without getting tired, and by this time I
found a way of leaving him whenever it struck my fancy; I told him that I would
be very comfortable walking for a quarter of an hour, and that the saddle of
his horse was beginning to make me uncomfortable; the good man quickly agreed
to climb up, and then I made him get down and remount when it seemed to me like
a good idea. When we were no more than a league from the town and I saw that my
guide was very tired, I asked to dismount and proceed on foot, to which he
gladly agreed, and I took a bit of a lead, but he adjusted his stirrups
accordingly. I had left my coat with him, since it prevented me from running,
and he spent some time tying it to the saddle; that gave me time to put some
distance between us, and my feet were no longer bothering me, and I believed
that they could do their job. I left the main road and, hurling myself across
the field, I ran so fast that in a moment my man had lost sight of me, as
though I were one of the rabbits that dogs think they have caught, but end up
only with fuzz. This old servant was certain that he would bring me back to the
house, but he only brought back my coat.
Chapter XVI
Second flight of the disgraced page, for having put
a sword in his hand among the prince’s guards
In the evening I returned
to the town and slept at the home of a nobleman who was a friend of mine, to
whom I told the story; he consoled me kindly, and calmed my frightened mind;
promising to patch things up for me, which he did the next day. My master, who
had not seen me for five or six days, embraced me with great affection when I
returned; and our tutor, in consideration of the dangerous results of my fear,
somewhat relented in his usual severity. Thus I lived tranquilly for a while,
but it did not last, as you are about to hear. I had matured a bit with age, at
thirteen, and decency and shame began to make me blush at the least unseemly
behavior; I became more attentive than ever to reading and to principles, and
no longer gambled, and hardly ever mingled with gamblers or debauchees.
Everyone was astonished at my change, and began to forget my past mistakes in
favor of my recent good behavior. Then Fortune, as though indignant that I had
changed so much and that, after having been fed and nourished by her, I was
apparently abandoning her to embrace virtue,
Showed me, much to my
detriment, what her power was. She took away our tutor, to give him a higher
position, to have greater means to bring me down to the abyss.
To avoid wasting your
time with stories of excessive length, and to avoid opening old wounds that are
still sore, I shall tell you that, when another authority took over, I had some
strange dissatisfactions, and that, by means of unheard-of tactics, I was
separated for several days from the presence of my master. I was of the opinion
that I had been removed from his presence only to deprive me of his good
graces; and that plunged me into such a melancholy mood that I was
unrecognizable. Instead of my customary jumping, fighting, or running with my
peers, I did nothing but daydream. And one day, when I was in one of the royal
residences, a man as distracted as I was unfortunately happened to shock me by
passing by me very rudely. I came out of my deep thoughts and brusquely said
something to him about his lack of consideration. But he, offended by my words,
drew his sword half out of his scabbard, as though he wanted to strike me, and
I had no sword at all, and was of a different social station from him; his
irrational response moved me in a strange way. He could tell by my face and by
what I had said about his cowardice that things would not come out well for
him, and he thought about escaping; but I ran up to the first lackey who went
by and, asking for his sword, instantly trapped this reckless fellow. The
prince’s guards were lined up in the lower courtyard, waiting for his return
from the hunt on which he had gone, and my man thought to take refuge there,
but the blind desire I had to avenge this insult did not give me the leisure to
think reasonably. In spite of the presence of the guards, I gave him two great
blows with the sword; and perhaps I would have given him another, if three or
four lowered lances had not prevented me. The arrogance which I had shown
created a great stir; three or four officers seized me to take me prisoner, but
a lieutenant of the regiment, who knew me, saying that he would keep me under
guard, and that I was not a gentleman to be treated badly, brought me away to
his own lodgings.
My hotheadedness having
passed, fear of the danger I had escaped froze my blood, which had been boiling
with rage; I began to repent my impatience, and to offer prayers for the man
whom I had wished to kill. Five or six soldiers of the company of the
lieutenant who had done me a favor came from time to time, one after the other,
to inform me of the condition of the injured man, who was not in good shape;
and the last one, who came to assure me that the man was in a desperate plight,
at the lodgings of a surgeon, made me decide to flee. I begged the lieutenant
who had done me a good turn to do me another, by going to the castle to find
out what was being said about this matter, and above all to visit the apartment
of my master, to see if he had been informed about this accident, and if he
could obtain pardon for me. But this bad news removed all hope of hearing
anything good. I believed that my life was at stake, and that it was necessary
to save it by going far away. Therefore I secretly left, and, reaching a broad
forest, did not stop until I had traveled nine or ten leagues, and I did them
in an incredibly short time. I tell you that very few people, not merely those
at court but anywhere in France, had as much energy as I had; I often put my
feet together and leaped as far as the tallest men alive; in addition, I leaped
over canals at least 24 feet wide, and I could gallop 300 feet against the
fastest horse in the world. That is why you should not think that I am being
deceitful if I tell you that in less than twelve or fourteen hours I traveled
27 or 28 leagues.
Chapter XVII
The strange encounter of the disgraced page with a
wicked inn-keeper.
My intention when I left
the place where court was being held was only to put as much distance as
possible between me and anyone I knew, and to disguise myself so well that I
would not recognize myself. I accomplished both goals; I took cover in a large
merchant city, which looks out on the Seine on its way to the sea, and there I
rested several days to catch my breath and to prepare myself for a long trip.
There I practiced forgetting my name entirely, and made up a false genealogy
and false adventures, to avoid being surprised if anyone asked questions. When
I set out, I had scarcely more than 15 or 16 pistoles on me, of which no more
than seven or eight remained. With so little help, I considered crossing the
sea to go see Albion, where the poets make so many swans sing. I left from this
big city very late, and since I was no longer so terrified I did not move at the
same speed as I had when fleeing. I had only traveled two leagues from the port
where I embarked. I stayed at a small, remote hotel, where I ate a bit, either
out of weariness or sadness; and they gave me a room with two very fine beds.
I had hardly been asleep
an hour, going over my disgraces in my mind, when I heard my hostess speaking
at my door. Whoever was speaking with her asked for a single room, but she
insisted that there was only one bed left, in a room in which a young boy was
sleeping. When he made some
difficulties, the hostess testified for me, maintaining that I did not look
like someone who would do any harm, that I had the demeanor of a child who had
left his parents to see the country, and that I was so weary from traveling
that she did not think he would get up early in the morning. At that point they
both entered the room, and the mistress went to open the curtain to see if I
was asleep (which I was pretending to be) and, showing my clothing, which was
made of silk, to the defiant traveler, assured him that I was not a person
whose company he needed to fear; he agreed to sleep in this room and had
everything that he needed for dinner brought in; and above all he asked for
more wood, as though he were going to remain awake to write some important
reports; among other things, he asked particularly for a stove and some eggs,
brought to him on a plate, that he wanted to fry in his own way.
When he had been provided
with all of these things, and had shut the door, he came over to my bed,
carrying a candle, to determine more exactly whether I was sleeping; I
continued to pretend to be asleep, and in my turn I watched him very carefully.
I perceived that, after having lit a large fire, he took out of a sack many
different kinds of utensils that he placed very gently next to the fire,
fearing that they might make tnoise; he took some pieces of coal out of the
fire and heating something on them. Then he also placed his stove on the fire,
but the smell was not like that of frying: the butter made no noise, it took
only a slight movement that he gave to a bellows (??), after which he placed
his stove on the top of a stool. Then, just as this mystery began to bother me,
this fine fellow finished with this process. He took out of his rags a plate of
round iron, which he inserted into a circle of the same material, and into it
he poured what he had fried. A short time later he put some water on top of it
with a needle, and that was to cool off a material hard enough to be drawn from
the apparatus and placed into another machine. Here my eyes failed to
penetrate, only my ears succeeded in the task of spying, discovering that, as
he turned a crank, he made certain wheels emit a dull sound, and the wheels
made another sound from time to time, like cutting something hard with great
force. At this point my curiosity was awoken truly; I began to groan and to
stretch, like someone who wishes to turn from on side to the other, and I did
that to stand up and see better, through the opening of the two curtains, what
this work was. At the sound I made turning in my bed, this honest artisan
stopped his work, and did not start it again until he heard me snoring loudly.
I had been brought up too long at court not to understand what he was
conniving, and I was correct in seeing that in this apparatus he had made gold
that he had tightly tied in a paper; and then, after having put all of his rags
back in his sack, he went to sleep without making a sound. It gave me great
pleasure to have had this encounter, and I imagined that it was a remedy sent
from Heaven to sweeten my bad luck. I had read many odd books, including those
filled with confused puzzles, which were thought of as sacred guides to find
the philosophers’ stone. I knew all the stories of Jacques Coeur, Raymond
Lully, Arnold of Villenova, Nicolas Flamel and others, right down to Bragardin.
Therefore I believed that this fellow was a miniature copy of them, and that he
alone, more than any prince or king, was capable of improving my comfort in the
world. I thought only of how to accost him and become friendly with him; I
spent the whole night going over it in my mind, provoked as much by the desire
to become close to him as by the fear that he would be frightened by my
approach, or that he would slip out of my hands without filling them.
Chapter XVIII
How the disgraced page made the acquaintance of a
man who had the philosopher’s stone.
The day had only just
begun to break when, summoned by the cock, or perhaps some secret fear, this
man whom I had already begun to idolize, got up out of bed, dressed himself,
put his sack on his shoulders, and then went down to settle his account with
the hostess; at the same time, I carried all my clothing to the window, which I
opened, so that, while I put them on, I might easily see when he came out, and
which road he would take. All went well
for me up to that point; this new Artefius was heading where I had chosen to
go, and I had nothing left to do but settle my account with my hostess and keep
him in sight. When I saw him on the highway, I was afraid of frightening him by
approaching him so quickly, and I thought it would be better to wait until I
saw him stop at an inn, so that I could have a drink with him and take up the
subject of traveling in his company. The burden that he was carrying on his
shoulders made the opportunity come along very soon; I saw him stop in the
first village, where he asked for a pint of wine, and sat down on a rock at the
door of the inn; I went in when he was almost finished with his pint and asked
for a quarter of a pint, which I needed only as a pretext to speak to him.
While we were drinking I asked him if he was going to the port, but he replied
to everything I said to him only with monosyllables, and with such a fierce
expression on his face that I was almost in despair. I thought that he had
recognized me as the boy who had seemed to him so suspicious in his room, and I
had thought of many arguments by means of which to get him to speak about a
mystery about which he wanted to remain silent. But just as I had him in sight he disappeared almost in an
instant.
Having lost sight of him
so soon, my heart froze with fear that he had made use of some magic trick to
disappear into thin air. I ran, driven by this fear, to the place where I had
lost sight of him, and, seeing that at this place there was a hollow into which
the road sunk and curved, I recovered my breath and courage, and reprimanded
myself for having too little strength of mind. But when I had descended the
entire length of the field and did not see my man at all, I felt a disgust that
I cannot describe to you. I threw my hat on the ground, tore my hair, and
shouted so angrily that anyone who had seen me in this condition would have
taken me for a madman. My man, who had only left the road to answer a call of
nature, undoubtedly heard some of my shouts, and, anticipating that I might
attack him, tried to hide from me. He had already returned to the hollow road I
had come down, carefully taking side roads out of fear that I might find him,
when he stopped at the top to watch me and see if I would pass by. By chance it
happened that I, thinking that I had lost him, turned my head suddenly towards
the place where I had left him and I saw my man with his burden. Seeing him,
the sad feelings with which I was filled were replaced by happiness and hope,
and bravery then joined company with them. I no longer wanted to delay my plan,
and as soon as I reached this man who was fleeing from me I audaciously
declared what I was and what I recognized he was. But I made this overture in
such an appealing manner, and I exaggerated the difficulties in which I found
myself and the happiness that he possessed so much, that if he had not been
weak, he would not have been as troubled as he was.
At first, he threw his
sack on the ground, as though he wanted more freedom to make use of his sword,
which was attached to a strap, and I, who was holding his sword in his hand,
stood with it ready, waiting to see what he would do; he might have tried some
desperate blow if he had not found me so determined. But he was not a robust
man, somewhat broken by old age and labor, who was frightened by my youthful
daring; he was content to accept the misfortune of this meeting, and to moan
tearfully. When I saw that I only needed to reassure his mind and to sympathize
with his suffering, I was overcome with joy. It seemed to me that I had never
spoken with such ease; on the spot I offered convincing consolation, as
elegantly as if I had been Demosthenes or some new Isocrates. I made it
perfectly clear to this worried soul that what he thought was a disgraceful
adventure was a pure, fortuitous gift. I described myself to him as an
honorable gentleman, with a heart so good that not all the tortures in the
world would ever compel me to reveal his secret, if he would reveal it to me,
and that I would follow him everywhere and serve him all my life with
unparalleled devotion; that he could not meet anyone more useful to him than a
person like me, who was at the same time intelligent, faithful, and brave; that
I would put myself to the proof by performing the most unappealing and most
difficult services for him, if he only allowed me. In response to these
statements he remained mute for a very long time, his face clouded, more like
that of a coppersmith than that of a philosopher; but, when he had regained his
composure, and mused for a while about what he had to say, he gave a reply that
was very submissive, but very clever; he told me under what masters he had
studied, and what pains he had taken to acquire this golden fleece that I so
much desired. After this straightforward confession, which put me already in
possession of so many imagined benefits, he claimed to be frightened of the
danger incurred by those who had such a secret when they were discovered by
some prince; that the least misfortune they might expect was to lose their
freedom entirely, but normally making them labor and languish in prison was not
enough, but they often lost their lives by being tortured cruelly to reveal
their secret; that this precious gift was not produced solely by human effort,
that there was a special ritual necessary to accomplish this great work, and
that the failure to use this gift very carefully would earn an eternal
malediction; that it was necessary to give help secretly to the poor with it,
and to guard against making it known to great ones, who are naturally
ambitious, and who would only want the power to wage war everywhere, and to
conquer their neighboring states; that it would be an unforgivable crime to put
this sort of weapon in the hands of violent men; and that it was for these
reasons that he led a hidden, difficult life, understanding that divine Justice
would hurl him into eternal abysses if, after having received such a rare gift,
he abused it; that he had recognized by my words that I was not low-born, nor
badly brought up, but it was necessary that I show proofs that I did not wish
to be ungrateful towards the all powerful hand that had heaped favors upon me,
and which would still grant me the chance of knowing him; that if I wanted to
join him, as I said, he would bring me with him throughout the earth, most of
whose languages and customs he said that he knew; that we would begin these
wonderful trips with one to the Holy land, so that, having worshipped the
Sepulcher where he who had made the world was buried, we would have a special
blessing to pass through it without danger; that he wanted only two things from
me, after which he would consider me part of his own soul and would hide
nothing from me.
I found myself in such
joyful suspense at what he said that I was almost unable to ask him what the
two things were that he wanted me to do to earn such happiness. He finally let
me know that the matter consisted of two points, of which one was very
appealing to me, and was not at all difficult. But the other was so cruel that
it was like being stabbed in the chest. First he wanted me to make a general
confession in the city to which we were going, at the hands of a good priest
whom he named; then he asked that I trust his word, and when I went through
England I wait for him in London at the home of a merchant who was one of his
friends. I promised him that I would make an earnest confession, but as for the
separation, I protested to him that I would never be able to do it. He insisted
steadily on this point, with grave oaths that he wished to give me as pledges.
During this conversation, we were moving along together towards the seaport,
where I believed we were going alone, and which was no more than half a league
from us; there, by his order, we went to eat and sleep in a convent, where we
were received with joy.
Chapter XIX