Parents Blog: Letting out the Leash

by Robin (Parents Leadership Council Member) and Sam Karp (Questrom ’16)

Summer can be a difficult time for students to readjust to living at home. Below is a letter my son wrote to me this week opening a dialogue about expectations for our short summer together. Encourage your student to have similar conversations when they arrive at home, to foster an enriching relationship during the exciting summer months together. Enjoy the precious time!

                                                                                                                                                           

Mom,

It is summer time and I am excited to be living at home during my internship. I will get to spend my down time with you and the family, but we have to talk. Now that it’s summer the leash you have me on needs to change a little.

During my time in Boston, I wore a “figurative” shock collar. You couldn’t tug on me when it was time for dinner, or put me in my cage if I came home too late. All you could really do was check in on me by phone (“the remote”) and trust that I was growing up and being a responsible college Terrier. Now that I’m home, I hope we can work together so that I can remain in control of my decisions and still feel like that college Terrier even when I’m away from my campus.

Let’s sit down and talk about my responsibilities while living at home for the summer. If you want me to take out the trash, make my bed, unload the dishwasher, take my siblings to camp, tell me! Communicate what you want me to take care of so I know the end of the bargain I need to hold in order to keep my freedom.

In return, I don’t want to feel babied this summer. While I’m at college I set my own bed time, I decide when to leave my room, and while at home if I want to just go chill or go for a walk somewhere I don’t want to feel like I’m strapped down. I think we should determine that if I’m going to come home after a certain time, or not at all, I need to text you and let you know. If I come home too late and the next morning I’m tired, it’s a decision I have to live with and learn from. I do it at school, I can do it at home.

If you want me with the family for the weekend, let me know ahead of time! Remember I’m used to being able to do whatever I want on the weekends and it would be nice to have the freedom to still be able to make those plans. We all have IPhones, let’s create a family calendar so we know when we all have events to go to together and so I don’t block up that time.

What do you expect from me mom? These are my requests so I know I can adjust to being back at home and enjoy the time with you and the family. Many others Terriers always say they can’t wait to leave home after the summer, they want to get back to college to have fun and live their own lives. I see no reason why we can’t work together to enable me to do that at home. Is there more that you expect from me this summer? Let’s converse now so we don’t bicker or so I don’t say I can’t wait to get out of here.

Here’s to loosening the leash and a great summer!

 

Post Your Comment